The reaction that ABC’s Modern Family’s Claire Dunphy’s had to her eldest daughter’s complaints that her life has been too cushy, leaving her with no tales of woe to put on her college application, was fantastically overboard. Claire brought her daughter to the middle of nowhere, took away her kid’s phone and left her there to fend for herself so she’d have something to tell colleges about what she’s learned in her life.

Lesson: Parents should have locks on their bedroom doors.

This was another child-rearing lesson that Modern Family gave us this past year in one of the funniest episodes of television I’ve ever seen. It was called “Caught in the Act.” Yes. It’s what you think it is.

Lesson: If you are waiting for an adoption to be finalized, it’s unwise to act like a maniac, particularly in front of the social worker. Don’t lie about, say, getting fired, or suddenly being estranged from your husband with whom you planned to adopt the baby because you’ll eventually be found out and the fact that you deceived the social worker may result in the termination of the adoption.

Take it from Grey’s Anatomy’s Meredith Grey, who was crushed when the state of Washington reclaimed Zola, the baby girl she’d wanted to adopt, terminating her claim to the child: Meredith’s lies about her personal troubles and her disappearing act when the social worker wanted to see Meredith and the baby were bad ideas.

Lesson: You and your longtime spouse get separated. You have five children between you who now must split their time between you and their father. Should your estranged spouse start dating, you should avoid trying to compete with the girlfriend or attempt to be “more fun” than she is. You’re the mom, not the play pal.

Just ask Lynette Scavo from ABC’s Desperate Housewives who, when she became threatened by her estranged husband Tom’s relationship with a woman who got along really well with her kids, tried to one-up the girlfriend and put a wedge between the gal pal and her impressionable, eldest daughter. Yes, it ended in an ugly fashion.

Lesson: Say you’ve finally kicked your philandering, lying husband out of the house and, at the same time, you’re trying to make partner at your law firm while also parenting your two teenagers. Oh, and throw in a new love affair which you’re working really hard to hide from people, particularly folks at the firm because your lover is also your boss. All it takes is one disaster to throw everything out of whack if you’re not an expert juggler.