Class Mom Aspirations.
by Wendy Sachs
Last year when my son Jonah asked me to be the class mom, I responded “but I’m your mom sweetie,” I don’t need to be the class mom. He was temporarily disappointed, but didn’t push the point. This year Jonah was adamant. “Mommy,” he announced at the end of August, “you will be the class mom this year…you MUST.”
Having your mom as Class Mom when you’re in third grade seems to carry elite status. It’s like being a hall monitor or on safety patrol, but better because your mom is ALWAYS in the classroom for the smorgasbord of events – events that often involve food.
So midway through last year, Jonah began plotting my move to become his Class Mom – the quintessential Queen Mama School Bee. Maybe he was motivated by first choice cupcakes at the end-of-the-month collective birthday parties or maybe he simply wanted to bask in the glow of my in-class presence, who knows. But the pressure was on and I didn’t want to let him down.
So I promised that this year to volunteer as class martyr and throw myself into the minutiae of mind numbing responsibilities like collecting Scholastic book order forms. I am not knocking the importance of the administrative efforts that must happen to make a classroom run smoothly, I just have no interest in doing them. And while I swear I am at the school for pretty much everything – or certainly everything that warrants an in-person visit, the class mom literally is there for EVERYTHING. Things frankly, I’ve chosen to avoid.
So believing that Jonah would feel more pride in my being his Class Mom than if I were to say win a Nobel Prize for eradicating the Swine Flu, I decided to suck it up and sign up. After all, how much longer will my son actually want to see me in his classroom?
What I didn’t realize was that this Class Mom thing had become super competitive. In past years at Back-To-School night a paper was passed around seeking volunteers. I would always push the paper to other desks mumbling softly so the other moms could hear and not think that I was shirking my duties something like, “I really wish I could, but I work full time.”
02.26.10
There are plenty of moms in my son's school who don't go to an office during the day, and whose job it is to focus exclusively on this kind of stuff. We are lucky to be in such a great district where a good number of families have the luxury of needing only one income.
So I don't feel guilty about my lack of interest in the class mom job. And I give a HUGE thank you to the moms that do it. I sign up to provide snacks, deliver school supplies when they are needed, and I've even apologized to my son's teachers (they job share) for not being more available during the day, who in their awesomeness pointed out to me that they are both working mothers so no need to apologize!
02.04.10
I don't believe there is a class mom in our class this year because no one would take the job! The teacher sends out all the notices of the after-school parties, etc.
10.13.09
I would never be the class mom, I think the other posters covered most of it. I do volunteer and and always give money for the gifts because I know that the classmom will pay out of her own pocket. I recently posted on truuconfessions.com about how amazed I am at how many parents have no school involvement at all and that's something coming from me because I am not a "joiner" at all. I don't mean volunteering because I know most people can't fit that in bacause of work . The showing at our back to school night was awful and that is information to help you and your child.
10.07.09
I recommend 2 parents (usually moms) share the position and split the duties I did it last year for my 5th grader (our elementary goes to 5th), and it was a JOY (yes, I said JOY) to do the tasks with a partner. I am a full-time working mom with 3 kids and my co-room parent was nearly a full-time volunteer stay at home mom with 2. Even better was that we each had different skill sets that we could capitalize on. It was a great mix, and I am so glad I had the experience. It was good for our children, the class, and the teacher. Both of us also volunteered for our other children's classes, we just did it on a more selective level. Figure out a way to make it work - but only do it if you are interested. We still need the parents who give donations, send in supplies, bring food, and write the checks!
Separately, for our youngest child's Kinder class, we actually had a group of moms and 1 dad who volunteered all the time. There was 1 parent a day who helped the teacher sort, organize folders, grade homework, decorate the room, etc. And a core group who always came through with class donations, wish list, dream list (Yes, I said DREAM LIST). Ask your teacher if she has a dream list, and you'll find out what she really needs! Now we are 2 years out from Kinder, and most of us are still a great core mom group even though our kids are in several different classrooms. And, we each gravitate to different tasks so it works well most of the time. But, we do have to protect ourselves from the contrary parents who bark at others or are never satisfied.
10.06.09
I say sign up for a field trip when possible and call it a day. Class mom just does not seem conducive to working mom.
http://www.myhormonesmademe.com
10.02.09
Oh goodness...the Class Mom thing. I volunteered to be Class Mom when my son was in preschool. It was a nightmare. I did everything. When the other parents didn't pony up what was needed for the gifts, etc., guess who reached into her own wallet again and again? My personal favorite experience was the end of school party (organized and excuted solely by moi). This one mother (stay at home mom with 2 kids in school and 1 baby at home), criticized me behind my back - yet never gave a dime to anything or her time. I don't know what was worse - being criticized behind my back or finding out about it. Anyway...the end of school party rolls around and Ms. Complainer - who gave nothing (no snack, no $$, no time) - showed up with ALL of her kids. I didn't think I was ever going to hold it together. Now my son is in kindergarten. I will never be Class Mom again - I don't care how much he begs.