Rescue Me.

by Vicki Larson


“I've been saved ... by a woman/ She won't let me go/ She won't let me go now.” — “Trouble” by Ray Lamontagne


“Some day my prince will come/ Some day we'll meet again/ And away to his castle we'll go/ To be happy forever I know.” — “Some Day My Prince Will Come” from “Snow White and the Seven Dwarves”


“We’re our own dragons as well as our own heroes, and we have to rescue ourselves from ourselves.” — “Still Life with Woodpecker” by Tom Robbins


It’s a familiar story — a talented but tortured man, consumed by drugs or booze or womanizing or all of the above, meets a woman and falls in love. Then, she lays down the law.


“It’s me or your partying, Bub.”


And just like that — well, maybe not quite that easily — he cleans up his act and starts putting her and their family first. Then they live happily ever after — just like in a fairytale.


The latest man I’ve read about like that is Metallica front man James Hetfield, who credits his wife for saving him from certain doom:


"My wife, Francesca, has been the most amazing person in my life. She has ridden the big waves with me. We have gone through some extremely difficult things and come out stronger. She's stuck with me through all the hell. When I met her, I knew she was brought to me to help me get out of this hellhole. And she did.'”


It’s a feel-good story, one that makes us think that fairytales really do come true.


Hold on a minute. Somehow, this isn’t a fairytale I grew up with; did you? In this fairytale, it’s the woman who rescues the man. But, honestly, when did you ever read a Princess Charming story? When did you see a Disney movie in which the beautiful princess rides in on a white horse, rescues the man in distress, takes him to her castle and they live happily ever after?


Right. Never.