Valentine's Day is Stupid with a Capital S.
I spent twenty minutes last Sunday afternoon on a mad dash through my local Target, looking for Valentines for my kids to give out to their classmates. For the record, running through Target like you’re a contestant on Supermarket Sweep, with your husband chasing after you and yelling things like, “are you done yet? The Super Bowl starts in twenty minutes. Are you done yet?” is not all that conducive to a pleasant and efficient shopping experience. But nonetheless, I escaped with several dozen bags of candy, some cellophane-ish baggies with red twist ties, two packs of make-your-own Valentines for the girls in her class, and another pack of pre-made, Indiana Jones Valentines for the boys. And we still arrived at my mother-in-law’s with three minutes to spare before kickoff. [Insert double fist pump here].
While my husband and the other guys watched the game and pounded their chests and acted like guys, my daughter and I spread out on the dining room table to assemble the make-your-own Valentines for her girlfriends. If you read my post last year, you might recall that I think Valentine’s Day is Stupid with a capital S. To summarize, I think it is Stupid to a) spend twice the amount of money on flowers and dinner as these things cost on any other day of the year, and b) give your children copious amounts of candy that will rot their teeth, just so that your spouse/children will know that you love them. May I suggest that you tell your spouse/children that you love them on a daily basis, and do away with this holiday entirely, as I have. Well, not entirely, because it seems that in order to be accepted into mainstream society, your child must present Valentines, accompanied by copious amounts of candy, to all of the children in his or her class. Which means that I must go to Target on Superbowl Sunday to buy them, because I learned last year that if you wait until the day before, all of the good Valentines are gone, and your child will then throw a huge tantrum about the fact that she has to dole out Sponge Bob Squarepants and Scooby Doo Valentines to all of her friends.