Valentine's Day is Stupid with a Capital S.
Which brings me back to where I left me and my daughter; sitting at my mother-in-law’s dining room table during the Super Bowl, making pink and purple Valentines with all kinds of lovely, heart and flower embellishments, which very obviously did not come from the Target clearance aisle. She put a lot of thought into decorating these cards, my daughter did, and she tailored each one to the girl she was making it for. Pink is so and so’s favorite color, so she got a pink card with pink rhinestones, and so and so loves purple and she loves hearts, so she got a purple card with lots of hearts on it, etcetera and so forth. But when we got to ______, a girl who shall remain nameless, my daughter stopped cold. I don’t like her, she announced. This was true. She doesn’t like her. Frankly, I don’t like her either. This is the girl who decided that my daughter’s favorite, pink, over-sized, movie star sunglasses were unacceptable, and somehow convinced several of the other girls in her class to not talk to my daughter if she wears them. So now she refuses to wear them, despite the fact that she is half vampire and hates having her eyes exposed to bright sunlight.
I know you don’t like her, I answered. But you still have to give her a Valentine. If you give to one girl, you have to give to them all. She countered with the fact that all of the Valentines said things like, I Love You, and Best Friends, and Be Mine, and that if she gave this particular girl a card that said any of those things, it would be lying. At which point I gave her a quick synopsis of my opinion of Valentine’s Day, which is, as you know, that it is Stupid, and for precisely this reason. Fake sentiments. Obligatory statements of love. I mean, why should kids have to give other kids cards expressing their fondness for each other? Isn’t it a bit premature? Isn’t it all a bit much? Happily, she agreed with me, but conceded that she did like getting the candy.
Okay, I said. Then you have a choice to make. You can either make this girl a card, and participate in Valentine’s Day and all of its hypocrisy, or, you can opt out, and not give cards to anyone this year. You know, take a stand. Be an individual. Don’t compromise your principles. Put your big pink sunglasses back on, damn it.
She thought about it for half a second. Nah, she said, reaching for a card that said, “I Heart U” on the cover, and writing ________’s name on it. That would just be weird, mom. Right, I answered. Of course it would.
02.12.09
Oh my god - I can't stand the Valentine's Day madness. It is so promulgated by consumerism and then just so blown out of proportion by schools and martha stewart! Kids are spending their time making 20 homemade valentines cards (because, unlike when we were in school - and in the spirit of everyone gets a trophy - everyone has to get a valentine)! They really aren't the ones making them - the moms are. Ok, ok - yes, there are the occasional families that are so artistic that it comes naturally to them and it is fun to spend the time making them. For the rest of us, even the thought of going to the store and buying 20 X # of kids in your family cards, candy or whatever is unnerving!! If the classrooms want to do something, a small party is a good idea. If people want to do cards, put them in the mail! That will cut down on the stress, especially now that the price of stamp is going up again. (A whole other subject to rant about.) : ))
02.11.09
Ha! This is a great post...and oh, so true! My kids are only 3 1/2 and 5 months so I have a while before the Target sweep! But, I do agree that it is stupid. I always thought it was stupid. Even when my first husband proposed to me on Valentines Day a hundred years ago...I thought it was very tacky. I guess it is fun for the kiddos to get Valentine's at school. Think about it, remember how excited we got when we got a card from the boy seating two seats over from us. Nevermind his mommy says he HAS to give EVERYONE in class a card. We felt so special! I wish that's all it took these days to make a person feel special!!!
02.11.09
One other note about my 6 month old's Valentines...The main reason I caved was because I saw a box at Walmart of 32 Valentines for $1.50 (which I'll also use this year!). It tickled my "It's really not that big a deal, you're spending more time fighting it than the 5 minutes it'll take to do it" bone. Desperately, I wish I had your energy to fight it! However, when the $850/month daycare sends out lists of books they want donated to the class...or Christmas lists for the teachers...etc, etc, etc...then I find the energy!!
02.11.09
In year's past, my son couldn't care less about valentines. I take him to the store and show him what is there. He can pick one of them but I WILL NOT run all over town wasting time, gas and energy, looking for the "perfect" cards. I did offer to design some for my daughter because she wanted halloween valentines but I wasn't running around looking for anything.
This year, there is a girl in his class that he has a crush on so all of the valentine's are unaddressed (I'm too lazy for all that, he can write his name and the rest I don't care about), except her's. Not only did he insist on putting her name on the card, he put stickers on it and really made it nice :)
02.11.09
I hate the whole concept of school valentine's day. Let the kids have a damn party if you want but doing this just adds more work to my life. And I don't know about any of you but every name is not spelled non traditionally so I can't even try to write some of these out without the kids being present or the list.
Our solution? Hubby and I do the damn cards, don't spend money on anything for ourselves. The in June Grandma and Grandpa watch the kids and we go to Bonnaroo. Happy Valentine's day sweetie!
http://aftercancernowwhat.blogspot.com
02.11.09
I used to stress out about the classroom side of Valentine's Day too, but this year, I decided to skip the stress + order pre-personalized cards from RedStamp.com that I could just stick into an envelope + send off to school. It also helps there is a no candy rule at school...
02.11.09
Here is the thing... there is absolutely NO reason to give 6 month old (or even 19 month old) children Valentine Cards! When I had my children(6 and 8yo) I discovered something... namely, that there was no one on this Earth that could make me do something I didn't want to. I also discovered that most of the moms feel EXACTLY the same way. It is a waste of money to give cards to most children. They are going to bring them home, show their parents and then mom is going to chuck them in the trash! Period.
I feel exactly the same way about birthday parties. My children do not attend parties if the child that has invited them is not a part of their life beyond school or whose name does not come up in conversation regularly. I would prefer not to send gifts at all... especially since (if you are like me) you are wondering where you are going to put the new toys, and how long before your eight year old boy is going to break them. Yet another waste of someone else's hard earned cash. I make an exception for the children that fall into the above listed categories.
It is not that I am an uncaring person, but my time and resources are limited. I do not care to spend either on someone else's idea of what is acceptable.
02.11.09
What? Candy? Oh, I think I may have missed the boat here - do I need to go get candy?? Candy was thankfully taboo at her Montessori school last year.
In Kindergarten last year my daughter gave everyone the same card - I was totally surprised this year when she informed me that we had to get different cards for different genders.
So how does she know this and I do not?? I must have blanked out entirely on first grade (and second through sixth also). I think I need a primer on elementary school
Pamela
http://www.momqs.com
02.10.09
You don't *have* to attach candy/treats to the little paper cards! Sure, my kids always beg me to buy the boxes of conversation hearts or lollipops, but it's not in the budget. Plus, I know for a fact that not one kid is going to remember that my Emma did not attach candy. Trust me on this one! I know from years of experience.
My oldest daughter is now in sixth grade where Valentine cards are just no longer cool. Instead she cut out six little hearts that say "thanks for being my friend" and attached a set of three of her favorite recipes. How sweet is that?
See? It does get better.
Kate
www.deliciousaspie.com
02.09.09
I had no idea how soon the Valentine's Day madness would overtake me until my son's daycare sent home a list of children's names in his class so that he (read "Mommy") could send Valentines to each one. He was six months old!! I tried valiantly to rebel, but eventually caved to the imagined peer pressure. Now I'm staring down the barrel of this ridiculousness again...albeit with a much more mature 19 month old!