The Terrible Twos, Squared.
by Stefanie Wilder-Taylor
So I’ve been in the twins game now for about thirty-two months –thirty-two looong ass, crazy making, longing for Xanax months. I’ve experienced colic –twins with colic is not for the weak of heart let me assure you. If you are pregnant with twins, I’d like to tell you that colic is livable, you will get through it, blah blah blah but I can’t. It wouldn’t be right to mislead you that way. If you have access to a prescription for Zoloft, I’d recommend popping your first one while you and your babies are being escorted out of the hospital in your wheelchair because may be the last time in awhile that you will feel sane. But, hey, maybe they won’t be colicky. Mine cried day and night for almost five months –give or take a few weeks and then it just sort of went away –thank God. But now, it’s sort of back but in a different way.
The girls are starting to scream a lot, they refuse to go to bed, wake up in the middle of the night and refuse to go back to bed and worst of all, they are on day fourteen of a nap strike, which as you can imagine is a real treat. They are in the terrible two’s. Yes, they will be three in November –but I like to think they are two and a half since they weren’t born until the very end of November and they weren’t due until January so this gives me a little bit of padding when I defend their behavior as being so very “typical two” and not “burgeoning serial killer.” The problem is that when they get sleep deprived they really lose their shit which I can totally relate to. Sadie loses the already tenuous control over her emotions and lately as been given to melting down over getting the red cup over the “peenopur” cup. “What?” I’ll ask, while trying to understand what she asking for through her sobs.