Thank You Rachael Brownell.
On May 22nd I made the humbling and, hopefully, permanent decision to give up the hooch. Up until fairly recently, I really liked to drink. Scratch that – loved to drink. My favorite sound? The cork popping out of a bottle of chilled pinot grigio signaling my day coming to a close. But like a junior high school BFF, alcohol turned on me and we became bitter frenemies forcing me to avoid it at parties and not return its phone calls. I didn’t want it to end that way, but alcohol was negatively affecting my overall happiness and standing in the way of my ability to parent my children and be the best wife I could be.
A few days after coming to my decision, I blogged about it publically and received lots of support which was great but more importantly, many of you came forward with worries of your own about your drinking habits. Imagine my surprise when Amy, yes fabulous Mommytrackd founder Amy, told me about a book written by Rachael Brownell called Mommy Doesn’t Drink Here Anymore: Getting Through the First Year of Sobriety. I knew I had to read it immediately and I fell in love.
From page one it was like the author, Rachael Brownell, crawled inside my brain and scrawled out in vivid detail a raw, moving, brutally honest memoir, chronicling the insidious nature of her drinking, her decision to quit and her experience making it to that first year mark without a drop. And I should mention that she has seven-year-old twin girls and a four-year-old daughter to boot. Sound like someone you know?
Speaking to her only further cemented my girl crush so I pinned her down for an interview of sorts:
“Can you tell me when you first began to suspect you had a problem?”
“I definitely was a bingy drinker in my twenties. But weekend debauchery was followed by weeks of not drinking so I could write it off as normal.”
“Right,” I said. “Doesn’t everyone drink like a fish in college? Oh wait, I didn’t go to college. Never mind.”
“When I noticed a change was after the twins were born. Then it was like medicine. It became the thing I looked forward to most. It wasn’t the amount I drank, it was the way I drank. I wasn’t being social, I wasn’t going out, I was isolated. It was me and these babies in a rural community and I would put them to bed and I would drink. It was like a ritual. It was the thing I looked forward to most.”