My Sobering Secret.
by Stefanie Wilder-Taylor
I talk about drinking a lot on my blog. I've talked about it a lot in my books. I really like to drink. I like the way wine softens the edges, smoothes out the line between "their time" and "my time," helps me to feel relaxed, helps me tune out. But I drink too much. I drink seven nights a week. Sometimes just a glass of wine but usually two or three or even more. I always seem to have some sort of excuse like, "Today was an exceptionally stressful day so I deserve an extra glass now that it's all done."
I drank often when Elby was a baby to help deal with the stress of a new infant. I found myself drinking more than I had before I became a parent and I drank with other moms to bond and unwind (yes, I'm the cocktail play date mom and I stand by it being a healthy thing to do in moderation, in walking distance, if you’re not me). Before I got pregnant with the twins I had pretty much stopped drinking because I felt it was becoming a habit so when I was pregnant, it was extremely easy not to drink. But when the twins were born and I was home and my milk was dried up and postpartum was setting in, the simplest thing to do seemed to be have a glass of wine.
It was only too darn easy to fall back into the pattern (especially once the babies started having a regular bedtime) of having my wine every night. For some people I'm sure this is a nice thing, a tribunal thing (a drink at the end of the day with their spouse or friends). For others it might be a once in awhile treat to go out and have a couple of cocktails. For me, it's become a nightly compulsion and I'm outing myself to you; all of you: I have a problem.
I quit on Friday, May 22nd.
I've wavered before on this issue thinking, "But lots of times I have one glass of wine." Well, unfortunately, especially lately, most times I don't just have one -sometimes I have four. And being compulsive, I can't be trusted to "just cut down" because lord knows I’ve tried it.
02.07.13
I am a working mum of two ages 2 and 7, I too started increasing my drinking since they were born. To ease into adult time, ease the horrific work to school pick up, cooking dinner, homework and bed time extravaganza and to switch off the racing thoughts in my mind to all the tasks that lay ahead before I even made it into the car to work. 2 glasses soon become at least a bottle a night .recently I started suffering from panick attacks and anxiety at work and on Monday after fleeing work due to an extreme attack i ended up at the doctors sobbing, hyperventilating. I am now on tablets to calm me down and have been signed off work. I have had no booze since Monday and see the doctor again tomorrow, they think my prolonged and daily drinking has caught up with me and has benn sending me into a hypo like diabetics get..Am scared , frightened ashamed, and could kill for a glass of red!
01.18.13
I saw you last night on Primetime and for the first time I knew I wasnt alone. Do you have any links for support. Im not interested in AA because Im not religous. Any other groups you could recommend?
11.26.12
Thank you for being so honest and sharing this part of your journey with us. I know you are not alone--in your desire to drink and your desire to stop needing to drink. Please continue to be honest with us about this process and know that you've got a community here to help support you along the way.
tutaj
09.25.12
I too have developed a drinking problem. With two kids ages 2 and 4 I have gone from drinking very little before kids to a bottle a night. Both my parents are alcoholics. I'm so ashamed. I haven't told anyone though I know my husband knows. Waking up with shaking hands and a hangover everyday is getting old. What once helped me relax and be creative is now putting me to bed early and robbing my daily walks. I need to stop. Thank you for sharing your story. Reading the other comments from moms also helps. I'm scared. I need to find support. Hopefully I will find the courage to out myself to my teacher today. Thank you Thank you
06.06.12
For the first time ever, I will admit that I have a drinking problem now. I have an 11-year old and an 8-year old - both wild boys. My husband and I are in the midst of a messy divorce and I have turned to drinking for relief, as unhealthy as it may be. I used to be so on top of things and now I have this issue.... My 11-year-old is unfortunately, turning out like his father, and it is killing me...so I meditate with wine :( I need girlfriends to support me so if you read this please comment :)We just need a great support system! Good luck to all of you!
05.31.12
Thank you for posting this. I am going through a terrible time right now. I have to go to rehab as soon as a bed is open, but I couldn't be more scared. I always was just the "fun drunk." Now that I have a husband and two small children, I can't do it anymore. I am in a dark place and need lots of support, so it's nice to know I am not the only one out there, even though I don't wish this on anyone! Keep posting and for everyone else, be strong!
03.14.12
hi,
thanks for sharing! its helping! dress shop
12.06.11
NOTHING WORKS BUT AA. No vitamin or supplement -- that's a dangerous suggestion for any alcoholic
12.06.11
I relate. The "up to two bottles" of wine a night is beyond scary. I was sober for 12 yrs and slipped. I have gotten 9 months, then a year and then 3 months of sobriety -- now, i drink again. 2 glasses is enough to throw my life overboard. Let's make a pact -- let's go to AA twice this week. Nothing works but AA. We could both go to Betty Ford for 3 months..but, w/out AA coming back to the community we drank in we'd be right back where we started. Alcoholism is a disease and we have it. We are in great company...I too am sick of it driving my life -- getting in the way of having my best and full life. losing weight is impossible -- i want my life back. AA or bust this week.
11.14.11
Thank you for posting this very honest account. I have been going through the same thing and the shame spiral just gets out of control sometimes (Although, I also think moderation is okay). I found myself looking at my 3 month old baby saying, you have your Tommee Tippee and mom will get a little Tommee Tipsy. I am working on this. It really does help to read the experiences of other moms.
Mom of Miles