All I Got was a Lousy Chocolate Bar.

by Risa Green

 

I’m not usually one to complain about my husband; most of the time, he’s pretty thoughtful, and he does his fair share with the kids, and I know that deep down, all he wants is to make me happy. Which are nice qualities to have in a husband. But somehow, this Mother’s Day, my husband seemed to have misplaced those qualities.

 

Let me just say that I don’t expect a fancy, expensive gift from my husband on Mother’s Day. In the past, I’ve gotten a cute dress (that I promptly exchanged for a cuter one), a silver necklace with my kids’ names on it, a beautiful pedestal mirror for my vanity…things like that. Usually, I drop hints starting a few weeks before; an “ooh, look at that mirror” as we stroll by a shop window, a page ripped out of a catalogue and conspicuously left on the kitchen counter, a subtle hint about how I really need some new things for summer. Usually, he gets the hint, and whatever it was that I mentioned ends up in pretty wrapping paper on Mother’s Day morning, and I pretend to be amazed at how good he is at picking out just the thing that I wanted (except for the dress, which was not at all what I wanted, and hence the exchange). This year was no different. I told my daughter about a shirt I liked in a store window; I casually mentioned a few times how much I really need a zoom lens for my camera; I pulled a picture of a table-top fire pit out of the Frontgate catalogue and left it on his nightstand. Nothing fancy. Nothing super-expensive. It’s not like I asked for diamonds or anything.

 

The night before Mother’s Day we went out with some friends and got home late – almost midnight, in fact. As I was brushing my teeth, my husband reminded me that it was going to be Mother’s Day in just a few minutes, and asked if I wanted my present now. I told him sure. And I’ll be honest, I was kind of excited, because if he couldn’t even wait to give it to me until the morning, then I figured that it must have been a pretty good present. Maybe, I thought, he’d gotten me the ring I’d fallen in love with at the fundraising boutique for my daughter’s school. Or, maybe he’d gotten me the purse that I’ve been drooling over for two months but that I knew was too expensive for me to justify buying for myself.

 

Lisa LeMone
05.11.10

Try sharing Mother's Day with your spouse's birthday EVERY YEAR. A friend told me: Expectations are really just premeditated resentments. Better to just enjoy what comes. Life is beautiful and so is my family.

mbamrsmom
05.11.10

I got a box of chocolates, flowers, a $10 gift card to Starbuck's and 1/2 day off from the kids. That would have been fine....except...at 5:30am, DS comes in to snuggle and DH escorts him back to his room. I promptly kick the dog out, shut the door, and turn off the monitors because I was allowed to sleep in. Only to have DH come back in, tell me DD is now up crying and he's going to wait her out. In bed. With me. On my 1 day to sleep in.

So, I kicked him out.

If that wasn't enough, when I did finally wake up after my leisurely sleep-in (ahem, 7:30am, after being woken up by DS and DD fighting over a toy in the next room), DH promptly starts complaining that he'd been up for 2 hrs and how much his day sucked.

I didn't even get a Happy Mother's Day until I went downstairs to fix my own breakfast and saw the flowers, etc.

I've finally come to terms with the fact that unless I lower my expectations, I will forever be disappointed on Mother's Day. Or, I just need to do stuff for myself. And, where's the thought in that?

FLmomof4
05.11.10

At this point I'm just glad that my kids are in elementary school and preschool so there were Mother's Day crafts brought him for me. Without those items I would have NOTHING to show for Mother's Day. Generally my hubby is all-around great but when it comes to Mother's Day he needs some serious improvement. I had to remind him to call his mother yesterday (a day late!). Thankfully I had very low expectations for the Mother's Day celebration at my house so I wasn't disappointed.

Mom_of_3
05.11.10

I love chocolate, but... I'm with you. I guess I shouldn't complain because I did get flowers sent to work before Mother's Day. However, my 'present' was the hand colored pictures from my kids. My husband printed a Mother's Day message from a web site - not even a card. I don't expect big elaborate gifts, but a little thought would be appreciated.

vhaya12
05.11.10

Loved this article. I hope he has made it up to you since Sunday.

Polly
05.11.10

This is exactly why I'm very glad that Father's Day quickly follows Mother's Day. I believe that he has told you what he thinks is wonderful and you should respond with a like kind gift. Thoughtful and a small token. So listen up Rita, he'll let you know what kind of beer he really enjoys and you can bust our for a six pack for Father's Day.

jackied
05.11.10

I don't know whether to laugh or cry for you. If it makes you feel any better, I got chocolate covered jelly sticks and flowers presented by my children and nothing from my husband - though he was the one that drove them to the SUPERMARKET, I suppose. My birthday is in 15 days and I'm buying my own damn gift.