May 13th is almost here, and, like us, you’re probably looking forward to some Mother’s Day perks - that extra hour in bed, the cute cards from your adorable kids and a brief respite from your motherly duties. If you’re like a lot of tired moms, sex is probably not on your wish list for Mother's Day, or any other day for that matter. But what about putting it on the agenda, as a little surprise gift to yourself? Remember how much you used to enjoy it before exhaustion and Mommy Brain took over? Are you not, somewhere within the sleep-deprived haze of your new identity as mother, still a woman who wants and deserves a good sex life?
Seriously, think about what you might be missing. Sex offers an array of fantastic benefits, besides the obvious. It reduces stress and improves sleep. It triggers the release of endorphins (the natural happy drug) and oxytocin (a hormone that sparks feelings of affection and trust). And then there’s the fact that it makes you feel like a W-O-M-A-N.
So how about having great sex this Mothers Day, not marriage maintenance sex or “I need to get my husband off my back” sex? Do it for yourself. Who knows, it might mark the beginning of a whole new era!
The million-dollar question is, of course, what would really put you in the mood? We asked ourselves and other moms that question. Below are some of the answers. Maybe there’s one or two that might work for you:
- Get a room in a hotel. The sex is great and the room service is even better.
- Read a steamy book – Jackie Collins works for me – or The Joy of Sex (best done with a glass of wine) and earmark pages for your husband to read.
- Wear sexy underwear. Splurge a little on this, otherwise you’ll end up feeling itchy, not sexy.
- Take the initiative. Taking control makes me feel sexy, not like a rabbit in a cage waiting for my husband to make his move.
- Just thinking about sex as an activity you once enjoyed and might again one day, as opposed to one more demand on your time and body, can start to get you more interested.
- Tell your husband what he needs to do to start your engine. It might be giving you an hour to yourself, giving you a massage, speaking in a French accent. No matter what it is, he’ll be more than happy to oblige.
- Figure out what time of day you’re most enthusiastic about – or at least not repelled by – the idea of sex, and work around it. Nighttime is usually the worst time for most women. All we want to do is sleep. Think ‘early morning,’ or ‘afternoon delight’ if you can swing it.