FINALLY, Rosa is back and my life has returned to normal....It’s funny, I thought that I would be counting down the minutes until she returned, but I was actually a little sad when she walked in on Wednesday morning. Of course, it didn’t help that the second Davis saw her he went running over to her, gave her a huge hug, and then informed me that he wanted to stay with Rosa the entire day and that, I quote, “Rosa is the best.” I was definitely a little insulted. I mean, I just spent three weeks straight with the little guy, and you’d think it meant nothing to him. I kind of felt like a girlfriend who just got dumped for another woman. And the insecurity – oh, my God. When Rosa wasn’t looking I went over to him and picked him up, and I actually asked him if he still loved mommy. You love mommy, right buddy? In the back of my mind I was calculating the psychological damage I was causing him right at that very instant and wondering how it might play out for him as an adult. Would he marry a horribly needy woman because that is what I modeled for him? Or would he go the other direction and marry a cold, distant bitch who could never satisfy him emotionally? Yes, these are the things that I think about on a daily basis. It’s scary and pathetic, I know.
In the other hemisphere of my life, however, I was SO EXCITED that Rosa was back because it meant that I FINALLY got to go back to work. This new book has been fermenting in my head since the end of April, and I’ve just been positively itching to sit down and dig into it. So when I woke up yesterday, I felt like a kid on Christmas morning. I seriously could barely even wait to get to Michael’s office (where, by the way, I have not been in THREE MONTHS. Which, by the way, is SUCH A LONG TIME). During my absence, Michael hired a new employee and re-worked his office space so that there would be more work stations, and I’ve been really anxious that I was going to lose my space in the process. So I checked with him on Wednesday to make sure that I still had a computer and a place to work, and he assured me that I could use the laptop in the conference room. Excellent.
So after I made Harper’s lunch and packed her backpack and covered her with sunscreen, the bus FINALLY picked Harper up yesterday morning, and I got dressed in a nice outfit and a pair of three-inch wedge heeled Louis Vuitton espadrilles that Michael bought me in Vegas last year after he won a little bit of money gambling. They’re beautiful but totally ridiculous, and yesterday was the second time I’ve ever worn them. Anyway, I then took Davis to his little preschool camp, and when I walked out onto the playground to drop him off, there was an entire petting zoo set up with goats, a pig, some geese, a giant tortoise, a few chickens, bunnies, ponies, a camel, and a yak. Yes, you read that right. There was a camel and a yak on the playground. And there was also hay and a ton of poop. And of course, Davis wanted no part of it unless I stayed and petted all of the animals with him. Because he loves me, which I will never doubt again. So there’s me, climbing over the wire pen in my ridiculous shoes, trying not to step in various types of farm/desert animal poop, and by the time I FINALLY managed to extricate myself and get off to the office, I was sweaty and gross and I smelled like goat. Or maybe it was yak.
But I didn’t allow my unfortunate odor to get me down. I was off to start writing my book, and I felt like I was floating on a cloud. But of course, when I got to the parking lot across the street from the office, I had no cash on me, and so I had to walk to the ATM a block away, walk back to pay the parking attendant, and then walk back to Michael’s office. So now I was more sweaty and gross, I smelled like goat, and my feet were killing me, and it was only ten a.m. But I soldiered on. I walked into the office, I plopped my stuff down in the conference room, I went to Michael and I asked for the laptop. It’s in the conference room, he told me. No it’s not, I said. He sighed, annoyed with me for interrupting him, and walked over to the conference room, where there was, indeed, no laptop. After five minutes of everyone looking on the chairs and under the conference table, as if the laptop were playing a game of hide and seek with us, it was determined that the laptop had, somehow, been stolen. Michael was freaking out about the laptop, but all I could think about was how I wasn’t going to be able to work after all. Deflation was setting in.
Michael then announced that he had a computer, but it didn’t have a monitor. But then one of his employees remembered that they just received a brand new monitor, still in the box, at which point I got hopeful again. So Michael, now more annoyed with me than ever (for what I don’t know, I didn’t steal the laptop), puts together the monitor and plugs it in. FINALLY. I sit down to start typing, the first chapter already forming in my mind, only to discover that the screen is blue and it says something I don’t understand, but Michael understands and he informs me that the resolution is too low and we need a different monitor. Which he doesn’t have. But he does have one at home, in our bedroom, which I am free to go get. So, there’s me, in my ridiculous shoes, walking back to the parking lot, driving home, carrying the monitor, which is not light, down the stairs to the car, driving back to the office, carrying the monitor, which, I think I mentioned, is not light, back to his office, up the elevator, down the hallway and into the conference room. Only to discover that the new monitor is now working. I got it to work, Michael tells me. I don’t think I need to tell you how sweaty and gross I am at this point, nor do I need to describe the size of the blisters on my feet. I wanted to take off a ridiculous shoe and throw it at him, but I refrained. Instead, I got to work. FINALLY.