Published on Mommy Tracked (http://www.mommytracked.com)

Harpalicious, Steadman and the Queen of Darkness.

The big week came and went, and all in all it worked out pretty well. Despite my best efforts to stop time, my daughter still turned five. She had a really cute little dance party at the place where she takes ballet – twenty little girls in tutus doing hip hop routines and the limbo – and I have to say that I did an excellent job with the party favor. I burned CDs that I titled Harpalicious! A Collection of Harper’s Favorite Songs for Your Listening Pleasure, and then I made a sticker to put on the CDs with a picture of Harper and a groovy, hot pink font. The songs, however, were another story. From High School Musical to Fairytopia to a big band version of Lullaby of Broadway - not what I would have chosen, but hey, it wasn’t called Risalicious. Harper thought it was the coolest thing ever, and that’s what counts, I guess. I think I’m finally over her turning five, too. Watching the video of her birth after I put her to bed on the night of her birthday pretty much sent me over the edge, and now I’m all cried out and ready to move on.

Also part of the big week: the show got picked up for a second season, which is excellent news, although I now have a reputation with my tv agent for being, and I quote, “the darkest person ever.” Which, if he’d read my books, he would have already known, but he’s a guy, and he’s an agent, and so I can’t expect miracles. Anyway, what happened was, I got a call from one of the producers telling me that ABC ordered thirteen more episodes, but that I shouldn’t get too excited because Warner Brothers, the studio that actually pays for the production of the show, wouldn’t accept the order unless the producers found a way to lower the budget. And I think she was kind of stressed about it because she kept saying things like, “we’ll try to figure it out but nothing’s official until its official,” and “this is just me telling you what’s going on, this is not the time to start calling everyone you know because there is a chance that it might not happen,” and other not-so-positive sounding things like that. Then my agent called on the other line, but I was kind of freaked out by the producer, so when I answered the phone he was like, you got picked up, baby! Wooohoooo! And I think I said something like, yeah, I know, I just talked to Kim, in kind of a flat, monotone voice. Then, a few days later, I learned that the show will be on in midseason, once Dancing With the Stars ends its run (Monday nights at 9:30, in case you were wondering), but I don’t know exactly when that will be because ABC didn’t say when Dancing With the Stars is going to begin its run. And it’s not that I wasn’t excited, it’s just that I was a little frustrated that we didn’t have a firm air date, because I know that my publisher won’t do any marketing for my books until there’s a firm air date, and now that the show’s coming back, I’m hoping that will translate into some real book sales. And so, when my agent called to see if I’d heard about the schedule, I think I might have said something like, yeah, I saw it, in that same, flat, monotone voice. And that is when I learned that I am now known as the Queen of Darkness by some people in the television department at CAA.

But that’s okay because all of our friends have taken to calling my husband Steadman, since everyone just assumes that I’m making all of this money from the show (I’m not) and that he’s just living off of my extraordinary income (he’s not). I can’t tell you how many people a day ask him if he’s going to retire. And just coincidentally, last May his car lease was up, and so he got a new car the same weekend that the show got picked up the first time, and I can’t tell you how many times a day people ask him if I bought it for him (I didn’t), but it’s probably around the same number of people who ask him if he’s going to retire. It drives him crazy, but I find it to be completely hilarious. And so if I have to have a nickname, at least I got one that is fairly accurate. Poor Michael wasn’t so lucky.

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