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Published on Mommy Tracked (http://www.mommytracked.com)

You Say You Want a Resolution.

by Risa Green

 

2011 is not sitting well with me. My brain, apparently, is no longer willing to accept the passage of time, and so in a kind of uber-denial, it’s settled on a permanent age of thirty-three. Meaning that, if someone were to ask me how old I am, I would reflexively respond that I’m thirty-three, and upon being met with raised eyebrows and looks that say, ‘honey, those sagging eyelids wish they were thirty-three,’ I would quickly do the math and then correct myself. Sorry, not thirty-three. Thirty eight. And then I’d go into a state of mild shock, during which I would spend a good five minutes or so saying things like, wait, thirty-eight? Is that possible? Am I really thirty-eight? And so, like I said, I’m having kind of a hard time wrapping my head around 2011. Because for someone who’s still living in 2005, it just sounds really far in the future.

 

But anyway, in spite of the fact that I’m having a hard time facing my mortality, it is a new year – a new decade – and so some New Years Resolutions are definitely in order. I figured that since I’m getting so old and I don’t have that much time left, I shouldn’t just have one New Years Resolution anymore. That just seems like a luxury that only the young can afford. I need to better myself and I need to do it fast, so I’ve decided to multitask. I’ve made multiple resolutions this year, two for each area of my life: family, work, and myself. So without further ado, here are my six resolutions for 2011, (which, I’d like to point out, is thirty years after 1981, and which, I’d also like to point out, does not feel like that long ago):

 

Family:

 

1. I want to treat my family better than I treat my friends and acquaintances. Think about this: most of us are really nice to our friends and acquaintances. We go out of our way to be polite and thoughtful to them. We speak to them in a nice tone of voice. We send them birthday cards. We say yes to things that are really inconvenient, or that we really don’t want to do. If I can behave this way towards people who aren’t related to me, shouldn’t I be able to behave this way towards my own husband and children? Granted, my friends don’t live with me, whine at me, throw hissy fits when they don’t get their way or refuse to eat everything I cook for them, but still, I figure I can at least try. I always tell my kids that if they wouldn’t talk in a certain way to their teachers, then they shouldn’t talk that way to me. Well, I’m going to turn it around. If I wouldn’t talk a certain way to my friends, then I shouldn’t talk that way to my family, either.

 

2. I want to engage more with my children. I think I do a pretty good job of this already, but I could be better. Instead of having Friday night movie nights where we sit on the couch and watch a movie together, I’d like to have Friday night game nights where we play games and actually talk to each other. Instead of telling my son to go play with his Legos on Sunday mornings while I sleep a little bit longer, I’d like to get my lazy ass out of bed and actually go build a Lego set with him. It’s only a matter of time before my kids won’t want to hang out or play with me at all, so I want to enjoy every minute of it as much as I can.

 

Work:

 

1. I want to challenge myself this year. I want to write something outside of my comfort zone, that will require me to really stretch myself as a writer. I want to write something that isn’t chick lit, or teen chick lit, but something that will appeal to men and women alike. I have an idea, and it involves porn. That’s all I’m going to say.

 

2. I have to write my posts for mommytracked during the week instead of waiting until ten o’clock on Sunday night when it’s due on Monday morning. It feels like homework, and on Sunday nights at ten o’clock, I would much rather be lying in bed watching Millionare Matchmaker on Bravo than writing about my life as a semi-working mother.

 

Myself:

 

1. I need to stop eating like a sixteen year-old boy. The late-night bowls (plural) of cereal, the after-school binges on tortilla chips and Smart Puffs, the Sunday afternoon Neapolitan milkshakes from In ‘N Out…in addition to thinking that I’m still thirty-three, my brain seems to also believe that I have the metabolism of Justin Bieber. And let my ass assure you, I do not.

 

2. I need to stop listening to old Top Forty countdowns on the 80’s on 8 channel on Sirius. This is simply depressing, and it makes me feel old. Today, for example, they were replaying the Top Forty countdown from the week of January 1st, 1981. Did you that know that Waiting On a Friend by the Rolling Stones came out in 1981? Did you know that this is 2011, which makes 1981 thirty years ago?

 

Yeah, me neither.


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