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Published on Mommy Tracked (http://www.mommytracked.com)

My Working Mother AHA moment.

by Amy Eschliman and Leigh Oshirak, authors of Balance is a Crock, Sleep is for the Weak [1]

 

As I sailed into my 10th month of pregnancy I was ready for life with a baby AND a job (or so I thought). Working motherhood wasn’t going to be easy, but I’d never backed down from a challenge before so I wasn’t about to start. I was certain that by applying my organizational skills to my life post-baby I would be good to go. You know if A, then B, then C. Check, Check, Check. Plan, stick to plan, create a routine etc. Little did I know that motherhood makes a mockery out of control freaks like me.

 

So saying I had one “aha moment” would be a huge lie. I had many moments that, much like the continuous sound of a leaky faucet, drove me to the edge of sanity. There was the epic schedule screw up at daycare that left me with only 3 days a week of coverage when I worked 5. There was the daily grind of dropping off at daycare at 8am and racing out at 5pm only to skid up ten minutes before it closed that after six months in a row had me foaming at the mouth. But the two moments when I realized I ABSOLUTELY had to make some changes were when first, a babysitter flaked on me when I was on a business trip and my husband was out of town and I didn’t have ample back up plans in place. I was on the opposite coast and completely in the lurch. And second, it was when my husband shortly after my return invited 16 people over for dinner and I went completely postal on him. The look on his face telegraphed loud and clear what he had probably been thinking for months: “That nut has lost the plot”…and he was right, too much stress had turned me into a BEAAACTCH with a capital B and it was time to make some changes.

 

So now when I sense my blood beginning to boil or notice that I’m annoyed with my husband more than he rightfully deserves, I just remind myself of the C-R-A-P acronym and then I squeeze and release and have that one magical glass of wine.

So here’s some CRAP that you might actually want.

 

C: C it for what it is, take a deep breath, and squeeze and release. This is motherhood, working motherhood, but let’s keep it in perspective. If you threw all your problems into a pile chances are after seeing everyone else’s you’d probably realize that we’re all in the same boat. Some days are good and some are bad. Chances are, it could be worse.

 

R: Realize what led to the “melt down moment.” And make some changes to reduce the likelihood of it happening again. What I call the “melt down post mortem.” If you don’t figure out what the root of the problem is it is only going to keep happening. In my case it was business trips. I had to take my preparation to a whole new level because the sh*t was always hitting the fan when I trying to pull off a three night trip.

 

A: Ask for help. There is a reason for the proverb “It takes a village to raise a child.” The sooner you accept this notion and build a circle of trust the better off you will be. Being a martyr is so lame. Ask for help, you’ll be surprised what you get and how it feels to return the favor or pay it forward. Whatever it is that got you to this point, chances are you can ask someone (like your spouse?) for a little assistance.

 

P: Plan a break for yourself to just rest the mind and the body. A break means just that; not a sitter to go to the grocery store alone. That’s just not gonna cut it. Take a break and take a walk, get your nails painted or just sit in your car and talk to some friends….uninterrupted. It’s a lot easier to ask for help and do some self-realization on what’s actually driving you nutter-butters if you take a few minutes to breath.

 

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Also on MommyTracked by Amy Eschliman and Leigh Oshirak:

The Five Step Program For Successful Working Motherhood – Since we KNOW you don’t have time for all 12… [1]

Find Balance is a Crock, Sleep is for the Weak [2] on Amazon.


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