by Kerry Rivera
Hi. My name is Kerry Rivera. I’m a thirty-something mom of two rambunctious, wonderful boys (ages 2 and almost 5). I have a super-supportive, hunky husband. I work full-time for Toyota as their Marketing and Advertising Manager. I have a roof over my head, a healthy body and generally a sane mind. All in all, life is good. But I do have something missing … something that has really started to gnaw at me. Where the hell did all of my friends go?
For Mother’s Day, my husband bought me this great book, The Girls of Ames , about these 11 wonderful women with roots in Ames, Iowa. Now in their 40s, and spattered around the country, they have managed to keep tight bonds for several decades. In other words, they are the epitome of female friendship. The book nearly brought me to tears (thanks honey), and as I finished, it had me questioning the quality of my own friendships. If I’m Thelma, where is my Louise? Why am I missing out on book clubs and girls’ nights out? When was the last time I did lunch with a friend? A late-night chat?
Do a few quippey exchanges on Facebook count?
Now don’t get me wrong … I do have friends. But I guess between waking up at dawn, getting two little ones out the door in the morning (generally by 7 a.m.), commuting to work, powering through the workday, maybe catching a mid-day workout at the corporate gym, commuting home, dinner, baths, books, getting ready for the next day, maybe a brief dialogue with hubby and 30 minutes of mindless TV (thank God for E) … I’m done.
My husband is definitely a rock who can pump me up … he’ll even watch my cheesy chick flicks. But it’s not the same as speaking to a girlfriend … someone who will gossip, listen, reaffirm you’re doing a great job as a mom … and compliment your figure and cute, new shoes.
Still, as any working mom knows. Balancing a full-time career and family just about sucks everything out of you. Work pays the bills. And the time I get with my boys is precious and a top priority. But friends? I need to find a way to work them back into my life too.
I’ve read all of the articles and know this phase of a woman’s life is extremely demanding. Still, is there a way to revive the joys of sisterhood? My friendships are holding on by threads.
How do you stay in touch with friends? Have you found a way to keep girlfriends on your “to-do” list? I welcome your tips … and if you want to compliment me on my shoes (I’m wearing plaid ballet flats today), that would be OK too.