Making The Rest Of Us Look Bad

by Shari MacDonald Strong


Let me be clear from the start: I love Michelle Obama. I admire her. I’m inspired by her. She is by all accounts a fantastic mom, and she’s had a highly successful career in law and community leadership. And now, as First Lady, she’s taking on admirable challenges and making her presence well known -- in a manner that is strong but in no way obnoxious.


So why, when I read about her growing list of accomplishments, do I feel the teensiest bit grumpy?


The last I checked, Michelle Obama was hosting an event celebrating the signing of the Lily Ledbetter bill – a bill whose passage thrilled me and elevated my faith in our government to a new height. Then today, I read a journalist’s summary of Michelle’s accomplishments since moving to the White House: supporting military families, encouraging national service, highlighting women’s issues, advocating for work-and-family balance, and breaking down walls between the White House and the surrounding D.C. community. And the latest? Bringing healthy eating to the White House.


Upon reading this, I felt my spirits deflate. Not because I begrudge her success in any of these areas – far from it. It’s just that it’s getting harder and harder to, in a sense, keep up.


I mean, I took my children to the park on January 19 to help clean up with other volunteers, after Michelle made a plea for community service. I recently edited a book about motherhood and politics. Throughout 2008, I talked about the pros and cons of various candidates to anyone who would listen. I’ve given money, and I’ve given time – both of which are in short supply for most of us. In other words, I’ve done the best I could – or tried to. But Michelle Obama has done more. And that’s fine with me. It’s great, even. I look to her as a role model, and I strive to achieve what I can in my circle of influence -- which admittedly looks different than hers, and that’s okay, too. So why am I feeling so out-performed now?


Before the Obamas moved to Washington, I wondered what kind of First Lady Michelle would be. Nancy Reagan told kids to “Just say no” to drugs. Hillary Rodham Clinton had health care reform, and Barbara Bush was all about literacy. What would Michelle Obama’s “thing” be?


So far, it looks like it might be a little bit of everything.


Which, in terms of my feelings, might just be the problem. The thing is, the scope of her involvement is wonderful, but it’s also intimidating to those of us who see her not only as a public figure, but also as “one of us.” Seemingly, she does it all – all while looking gorgeous. And now she’s doing it all while emphasizing healthy eating, too? I feel like I should be waving a white flag of surrender.



There is no way that you or anyone else can compare yourself to First Lady Michelle Obama, or anyone else for that matter. We each have our own lives, families, circumstances and issues to deal with. You are right to say that we can do what we can, and that does not mean everything that the First Lady does. Michelle Obama has an awesome support system that is working to help her achieve what she does. She is setting a positive example for us to follow - not administering rules to which those that are not strictly adhered will be met with punishment. If you read President Obama's Book "The Audacity of Hope", you will learn that Michelle felt exactly the way that you do now, before she had all the support that she has now. Be the best that you can be in your life - not hers. She's doing a great job and I love her for it. Also remember that she is pretty much mandated to look that great all the time now (can you imagine the media frenzy if she didn't?).


Remember, Michelle also has her mom and a whole staff helping her at the White House. We shouldn't compare ourselves and our lives to Michelle's. We should be inspired and do what we can with what we have.

Susan from