Holiday Season Stress.

by Meredith O'Brien

 

When I was a kid, I just loved this time of year, particularly Thanksgiving Day itself.

 

I adored breathing in the smell of the roasting turkey while watching the Macy’s parade on TV with my brother while we were still in our pajamas. My favorite meal was the Thanksgiving dinner that my parents prepared, including my favorite dishes: Sweet and creamy corn casserole, my mother’s meat stuffing and, for dessert, a bowl of piping hot Indian pudding that was freshly ladled out of the Crock Pot, with a scoop of vanilla ice cream placed on top. All four of us, as well as my four grandparents -- occasionally uncles, aunts and cousins – would gather ‘round my parents’ festively appointed kitchen table and feast. Part of the thrill of Thanksgiving was the knowledge that by nightfall, while the roasting pan was soaking in a soapy sink, the Christmas season would be underway.

 

Yet here I am, a grown woman with three children, and I find myself longing for that time in my life when I reveled in the Thanksgiving-Christmas season, when it seemed magical and cozy instead of what it represents to me now: An endless list of things to do and opportunities to fail, seasoned with the pressure to prepare the “right” dishes for big meals and to complete all the holiday grocery shopping in between last-minute scheduling changes for my son’s hockey team (A game at 8 a.m. the day after Thanksgiving? Seriously?), fretting about whether I’ve bought all the necessary gifts and wrapping paper and tipped the mailman, if I remembered to get teachers’ presents and attempting to find time to figure out what to do about our personalized Christmas photo cards.

 

The weighty and ever-increasing stress comes from myriad sources: My mailbox delivers me issues of Martha Stewart Living where the domestic goddess with her large staff teases me with exquisite meals, “easy” crafts and flawless homemade pie crusts. Some Facebook friends post status updates about how they have all their Christmas cards/shopping done (some did their cards weeks ago) when I haven’t even thought about any of that yet. E-mails arrive in my Inbox from relatives asking what they should get my kids for Christmas and Hanukkah (we celebrate both holidays) and I make a mental note to make the same inquiries about my niece and nephews. Parenting media extol the joys of teaching our children about homemade holidays and festive, kid-friendly cooking endeavors. Ads on the radio and TV remind me that the time remaining to buy ingredients for Thanksgiving dinner (and later, all my Christmas gifts, never mind the makings for an amazing dinner) is quickly diminishing. (No, I really don’t want to know how many shopping days there are until Christmas.) The media in general start in with those unhelpful pieces about how not to gain 10 pounds over the holidays, how to organize yourself, how to find bargains and how to, incongruously, not stress out.

 

sea-mom
11.17.10

Great Article! I too took for the sarcasm..,but one things is clear now more than ever. I will never pive up to others expectations and I have now accepted it. I invite and those that decide to come -great! I don't ask anyone to bring anything, I'll just have all the fixings and hopefully there's enough. My husband has helped me so much in this area. He's very simplistic-he also helps a great deal. He prepares the turkey! Yay me! I can only tackle one thing at a time. Right now it's Thanksgiving. I see lights up, even trees in homes, but it doesn't matter. When I'm done tackling Thanksgiving, then I'll move on to celebrating Christmas. I learned from a church workshop recently to ask myself the following questions about what I am going to do during the holidays: Does it point to Jesus? Does it reinforce the values I want to pass on? Does it build relationships? Is it fun enjoyable? Most importantly my family doesn't want a stressed out Mom--so have a glass of wine and enjoy!