Listen Up Trader Joe's.

So I guess by now we all know there’s a recession going on. You’d have to be living in a cave or maybe the White House to not know that Josie the Plumber here has to tighten up her wallet. Normally I love shopping at Ralphs or Vons where the checkout lines are so long you could read at least half of War and Peace and at least one surly cashier is bound to roll their eyes at how “I was supposed to be on break a half hour ago fine, I’ll take one more person.” I tend to leave those shopping excursions rightfully riled up about some customer service issue. But since I can’t get out of a Ralph’s or Von’s these day without spending at least a hundred dollars on a few cans of baby food, some turkey sausage, a couple of light bulbs and a can of chunk light tuna. I’ve started shopping solely at my local Trader Joe’s.


And I have some issues with those people.


Listen up Trader Joe's. You're on my list. And don't bother giving me those puppy dog eyes either; the ones that say "Who me? I'm just trying to wuv you! Won't you give me a scratch behind my ears and sample some free Belgian waffles with soy ice cream on top - plus a Nyquil sized cup of our special Winter Blend coffee?" Yes, I don't mind if I do sample your wares. But, can't you just once give me something to complain about? Don't you know how much I enjoy a good complaint?


What are they paying you there to act so sincere? Why do you have to make my damn day by asking if you can help me find anything and MEANING IT? I like to bitch! Don't you get it, people? When I walk through the aisles why the smiles? Are you trying to make my shopping experience enjoyable? Why must everything be so tasty and inexpensive that I want to haul off and punch your buyers in the face for being so great? Is that what they want? A black eye? You're really asking for it when you chase me out to my car so that I don't have to return the cart back to the front of the store myself. How dare you say, "Can I put those bags in the trunk for you?"


Don't you know that getting irritated is like my own form of Yoga? You're taking that away from me, TJ's. Do you hate me? Is that why you're constantly putting deliciousness on sale like that huge box of gourmet chocolates you have the nerve to sell for six dollars? I could kill you right now for that sort of kindness!


Why can't you have one cashier with a bad attitude? I get plenty of it at Ralphs. I can count on Ralphs for a sneer when I don't answer the paper or plastic question fast enough. You? Forget it. You're all smiles. Real smiles. When I try to put my chicken burritos, a steal at three dollars for two with only 8 grams of fat, on your counter for you to ring up, you have the nerve to say, "Don't worry about it. I got it." WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? And, for the love of God, why do you have to actually acknowledge me like you know I live in the neighborhood and ask if I've had a good weekend? You couldn't possibly care but seems like you do!!!! My head is going to implode.



My guy was picking up edible food for me when I was in the hospital at TJ's. My son told them that he and his dad were taking stuff to the hospital for me, they gave him flowers to give me. Plus they are always ready to fill up a balloon for my little guy, no matter how busy they are!

I just miss the TJ's in CA...where you can pick up your liquor in the same store....woo-hoo. Not so in NJ.



When I was in Philadelphia I practically lived at Trader Joe's and Whole Foods. Since moving to frickin' Florida I've had Trader Joe's withdrawels. We have Whole Foods here but not TJ's. What kind of state is this??? Thankfully we are moving back up North to civilization. Trader Joe's here I come!



And the reason they're so happy is probably because they're smoking Trader Carlos' Wacky Weed in the stockroom.


We have those traffic directors too and sometimes I get so angry at them for their added convenience I want to hit them with my car!


OK I have a trader joe's complaint for you. Their parking lot is tooo *** small! Now I am grateful that on a busy cold Saturday they make 3 teens go out and direct traffic and not let anyone into the parking lot until they can like an airplane direct you into a spot. I really would like to run out and give those sweet boys a smooch because this is MN and its frigid out side already. But please if you are only going to have a parking lot the same size as the interior of the store lets try for valet service or a shuttle bus. I do have to wonder though were they find all these happy kids. HS and college student clerks that smile and are helpful??? What happened to teenage angst? I am so used to getting the 'you old codger' attitude. Sometimes I walk in and when I see all the smiling younguns think, hmmm the Stepford wives had kids.


honestly, i have asked the cashiers why they're always so damn happy. they must put something in the water. :-)

Roberta Lachman Jacobs


Sigh...Just moved from OC and soooo missing TJ's! Come to Jacksonville, FL!!!!


I hate to add to your grief, but my Trader Joe's even has an attendant helping with parking.


the real test will be during the holidays in which everyone seems to be on edge. i know my bitchyness is at peak then!



OH how I miss having a Trader Joes...This didn't help. you hear me? NW Indiana needs you.