Divine Intervention Needed.
by Leslie Morgan Steiner
Thank you for helping me unclog the kids’ toilet just now, although I recognize I must have looked funny doing it naked, especially from your view up there. Taking care of that toilet was the last item on my To-Do List before I leave for my two-day-one-redeye business trip to California, so I especially appreciate your help. I had to attack the toilet in the nude because I didn’t want to risk getting poop splatter on my nice traveling suit. I totally forgot about the clogged toilet until my final pee-before-dressing. Glad I got to it even if it means I might miss my plane! If I left it clogged, it would be even more clogged when I get home. Now I just have to finalize my three pages of instructions for our babysitter-chauffeur and husband to follow while I’m gone. I certainly wouldn’t be a good mom if the kids got stranded at school at 9 pm after the chorus performance or the dog starved while I was away.
But since we’re on the subject of business trips, can I ask you one question? I know some people say you punish women for that original sin business, eating the apple and everything. But I never thought you’d be this vindictive. I thought you took care of punishment by making childbirth excruciating. So what gives, God? Do you think it’s truly fair the way business trips are such different experiences for moms vs. dads? I’ve asked you about this inequity before, but it just keeps on happening.
My husband went to Phoenix for three days this week. He didn’t write any instructions for me or the babysitter or the dog. He didn’t worry about food in the fridge, who would whip up the kids’ dinner, or homework getting done. He just got on a plane on Tuesday afternoon and poof! He called once while he was gone. It wasn’t to check on whether Max had passed his math test, to find out if Tallie had stopped throwing up, or whether Morgan had handed in her field trip permission slip. It was to see if I could take the kids to school the first day he returned so that he could keep his regular Thursday morning appointment with his personal trainer.