Dispatches From the Mind of My Four-Year-Old.
4:30 a.m. Hmm…I’m half awake. It would be so much comfier in mommy and daddy’s bed right smack between them where I can make my body seem almost twice as big and mommy and daddy can pretty much kiss the rest of their sleep goodbye.
4:35 a.m. OH NO! NO NO NO. I left Purple Blanket in my bed! If I cry I’m sure mommy will go get it because I am too tired to walk all the way back to my room.
7:30 a.m. Please don’t let mommy tell me that I have to go to school. If mommy tells me it’s a school day I think I might cry. Scratch that. I know I’ll cry. OH NO! Mommy just said it’s a school day!! Oh, I’m snack girl today? That means I’m the line leader when we go outside! I want to go to school right now! Why aren’t we leaving for school NOW?
7:40 a.m. I MUST GET JUICE! I have never ever ever been this thirsty! Ug, why must my mommy always make me say please? It’s so time consuming. She could’ve been back with my juice by the time it took her to get me to say please. She needs to work on her time management skills.
7:55 a.m. Mommy turned on the TV! She totally read my mind! She knew I really really wanted to watch TV.
8:02 a.m. SWEET JESUS, I LOVE CAILLOU! HE’S FOUR JUST LIKE ME! I must relay this news to my mommy twenty times.
8:30 a.m. I really like to be naked.
8:45 a.m. Mommy has asked me to get dressed so many times today. That’s funny. I wonder if daddy’s IPhone is charged up. I need to play games on daddy’s phone right now. I don’t want to get dressed, I want to play games! Why is mommy trying to make me get dressed? I don’t want to go to school! I want to watch TV and play games all day. Oh yeah, I get to be the line leader, I forgot. I am going to go get dressed.
9:15 a.m. I WANTED TO OPEN THE FRONT DOOR! WHY DID MOMMY OPEN THE FRONT DOOR WHEN I WANTED TO? THERE ARE NO WORDS! ONLY TEARS!
9:30 a.m. I must remind all the kids who are already outside playing in my loudest voice that I am the line leader today and nobody else! Hmm…why doesn’t anyone want to play with me?
10:00 a.m. I LOVE SCHOOL.
10:06 a.m. I HATE SCHOOL.
11:30 a.m. I want to go home right now.
11:45 a.m. I want to live here permanently.
11:46 a.m. I wish my teacher Margaret was my mommy. She smells like bubblegum.
12:00 Mmmm! pizza! I think I will have three whole bites!
1:00 p.m. I don’t want to take a nap!
1:05 p.m. zzzzzzzzzzzzzz…..
3:00 p.m. When is my mommy coming to pick me up??? Oooh, pretzels.
3:03 p.m. When is my mommy coming to pick me up? Play princesses? Sure!
4:00 p.m. Mommy!!!!! Yay, mommy’s here! I wonder where my mommy is taking me? Hopefully the 99 cents store! I LOVE THE 99 CENTS STORE!
4:01 p.m. Why is mommy constantly asking me if I need to go pee-pee? I don’t have to go pee-pee!!!