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Why don't I love my step child

Noah2009
04.20.09

Ever since I gave birth to my first child, a boy, three months ago, I cannot stand my 10 year old step son. I can't stand to see him, hear him, even his smell repulses me. I feel a total rage whenever he is around and it is very hard to contain. I do not understand why this is happening. I had a great relationship with him before I got pregnant but during the pregnancy, things changed. Once my son was born, it got worse. I almost look for ways to get my step son in trouble. The really sad thing is, most of the time, I don't feel bad about it.

I do not know if this is normal or not. Sometimes I just wish he would go live with his mother full time.

mL.S
07.27.10

Do not resent the children. It is not thier fault. I would treat each chile equally. They are both human beings. I would bet therapy.

JavaDrinker
07.17.09

Maybe its because some women have that feeling of having to take care of another woman's child. Taking care of someone else responsibility or something. I can't say if that is natural or not. I do know men have an easier time dealing with a step child because they feel no obligation when it comes to taking care of the kid. With a woman...maybe it is reversed.

Noah2009
05.04.09

Thank you for your support. It is good to know I am not alone in my feeling. "Resent" is a good way of putting it.
Have you spoken with your husband about your feelings? I am terrified to do so. I think it may jepordize our relationship.

amberpaiz
04.30.09

i can really relate to you, i dont have any answers or not wether it's healthy to feel that way but you are not alone in feeling that way. i have two step children a boy and a girl. when i started dating their father, my two kids were visiting thier dads for the summer. So i got a chance to be with his kids one on one at first it was ok. But when my kids came back i started resenting his kids. alot of it was because their mom walked away and they had alot of issues to deal with and my kids were not as needy. his daughter could barely talk the baby forget it and they both were not potty trained. I started really taking alot of my frustrations out on them. I felt like i was being punished for something because i was having to pick up all the pieces and make things better.Which onyl turned into more hatred towards them.