Thin is In: Or Sadie Sees the Doctor.

CEO — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 04:54:07 -0800

“This is all about control,” I thought to myself as I placed Sadie on the scale for the fourth time in a week. I’ve had enough therapy to recognize a few of my issues.

An Open Letter to Ralphs Grocery Store.

CEO — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 16:53:19 -0800

It’s not working. It’s just…not. I’ve tried, you know I’ve tried, but this time we’re really through. I know I’ve been saying this for months. I try to stay away and then you suck me back in with a sale on Carnation Instant Breakfast variety pack –which, by the way, you’re out of half the time forcing me to purchase all vanilla or worse, chocolate malt.

Kindergarten Krazies.

CEO — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 11:29:46 -0800

It official: Parenting makes you crazy. I thought the diaper years were going to be the hard part. How could it get more challenging than dealing with babies who can’t communicate their needs with words and must resort to the far less civilized grunting, whining, crying and biting (oh Sadie!)?

Outbreak!

CEO — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 08:26:46 -0800

A couple of weeks ago, my nanny found a louse on Matilda’s head. Apparently it was just crawling around, badass as it wanted to be, not a care in the world.

May I Offer a Suggestion?

CEO — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 08:37:18 -0800

Every year people with very good intentions sit down and type out a list of New Year’s resolutions, usually consisting of some lofty goals like I will never touch fast food again or I will whip those saddle bags into shape or I will be a more patient parent.

My Daughter is a Big Fat Cheater.

CEO — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 16:02:31 -0800

My five-year-old daughter is a poor sport. She cheats at Trouble, Hi Ho Cherry-O, Chutes and Ladders, Go Fish and basically every game we play. I don’t know if cheating is the right word, well, yeah, it actually is.

I'm Trying Not to Spoil My Kids.

CEO — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 12:50:08 -0800

When I was a young child, around my oldest daughter’s age, we didn’t have much. Moving into a small rental house with my newly separated mother we made do with just the essentials – if that. Let’s put it this way, I’ve drunk juice out of empty jelly jars and worn hand-me-down panties.

Good Things Come in Small Packages.

CEO — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 16:38:06 -0800

Sadie, Sadie teeny tiny lady… I haven’t written a lot about Sadie and her eating, growing, issues lately. Sometimes, especially when things are going fairly well in that area, it slips to the back burner.

Things That Go Bump in the Night .

CEO — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 10:58:29 -0800

I’m always wondering why I torture myself with having a baby monitor for the twins and have come close to ditching it many times. The basic problem with a baby monitor is that they do exactly what they’re supposed to do.

The Real Housewives Aren't So Real.

CEO — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 22:24:29 -0800

A lot of people don’t enjoy voyeuristic television the way I do. There’s a certain type of person who can’t stomach shows like Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew, MTV’s My Sweet 16 (remember that hot cup of crazy?) or that good old syphilitic romp-fest, Rock of Love.