|Tales from the Mommy Track is a weekly column about the daily life of a part-time working mom. Risa Green is a critically acclaimed author who lives in Los Angeles. Her previous adult novels, Notes from the Underbelly and Tales from the Crib were made into a television series. Her latest novel, The Secret Society of the Pink Crystal Ball, is a Young Adult book that will be released in September, 2010.|
I know, I know, it’s been a while. I think the last time we talked, I was looking for some help getting my period, like that Margaret girl (and btw, thanks for nothing). Anyway, in case you don’t remember me, I’m the one who doesn’t really like people all that much. I mean, not all people, of course – I like my friends, and some of my family – I just don’t like the really annoying people with whom You seemed to populate most of the world (and dude, what is up with that??). I think You know who I’m talking about.
I’ve decided that Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday of the year. It has nothing to do with the fact that Thanksgiving signals the beginning of the holiday season – I actually hate the holiday season – and it has nothing to do with family togetherness, either – I’ll leave you to fill in that blank. It’s just that I kind of have a thing for reflective holidays, and Thanksgiving is the king of them.
Is anyone else married to the Energizer Bunny? Because my husband is so chock full o’energy that it makes me want to strangle him sometimes. And if it’s natural for men to have so much energy, then why aren’t men the moms? These are questions that keep me up at night, which then causes me to become angry with my husband because I am awake, thinking about him, instead of getting the rest that I need to maintain the Defcon 5 level of my life. I do have a theory about husbands, though.
I think it’s safe to say that the television show Notes from the Underbelly is probably the most exciting thing that has happened to my mother in a very long time. Not since I was class president in high school has she had something of this caliber to brag about. And much to my horror, her bragging is not limited to actual words.
I went to a baby shower today at one o’clock, and there were about thirty women there, all of whom have children under the age of five, save for three holdouts who haven’t yet caved under the pressure. None of this would be unusual, of course, except for the fact that today is a Thursday. And in light of that fact, I think that there are a few obvious questions here that need to be asked: 1) Who has a baby shower on a Thursday at one o’clock? 2) Who can go to a baby shower on a Thursday at one o’clock?
I can not work from home. It’s taken me over a year to come to this conclusion, but I’ve finally accepted it as a cold, hard reality. Which sucks, really, because my husband and I spent quite a bit of money on an addition to our house that was supposed to be an office for me, but which is now basically an office for my daughter, who likes to play video games on playhousedisney.com and print out five hundred pages of the same black and white picture of Cinderella, no matter how many times I lecture her about saving trees.
In case you didn’t know, ABC is making a TV show based on my book, Notes from the Underbelly, and although the show doesn’t premiere until November, I’ve started doing a bit of PR for it already. Just yesterday, in fact, I did an interview for a new website called Savvymiss.com, which is officially geared towards women 18-35, but which, I think, is actually intended to appeal to the mid-twenties, fresh out of grad school, newly married/engaged/single-and-starting-to-panic female demographic.