Risa Green
Tales from the Mommy Track is a weekly column about the daily life of a part-time working mom. Risa Green is a critically acclaimed author who lives in Los Angeles. Her previous adult novels, Notes from the Underbelly and Tales from the Crib were made into a television series. Her latest novel, The Secret Society of the Pink Crystal Ball, is a Young Adult book that will be released in September, 2010.

Crying Over Cake.

I don’t tend to do well with milestones. I can appreciate them as important ways to mark the passage of time and all, but generally speaking, things like birthdays and graduations send me into a fit of hysterical tears about how quickly life goes by, as well as about how old I am getting. more

A Fresh Start.

I wish that I could say that I’ve been productive and prolific and motivated over the last couple of months, but I can’t. Writing is a funny kind of a job, especially when you’re not under any kind of deadline, except for the ones that you make up in your own head (I will finish by Thanksgiving. Okay, Christmas. Okay, spring break. Okay, by summer, and this time, I mean it!) more

Oh Shit.

Though I have a mouth like a truck driver’s when my children are out of earshot, I’ve done a fairly good job of remembering not to swear around them. As such, all of those magical, four-letter words have, until recently, been completely foreign to their ears. more

Musically Challenged.

I once asked a friend of mine how you know that your boyfriend is “the one,” and she told me that you need to make a list. Well, two lists, actually. One of the lists should be of qualities that are absolutely non-negotiable in a partner (i.e, sense of humor, generosity, an understanding of how much a good pair of shoes cost), and the other list should be of qualities that you would prefer, but that you could live without if you had to (i.e. blue eyes, a sense of style, a love of contemporary art). more

The Ultimate F-It Moment.

I vividly remember my first public, parental f- it moment. My daughter was about two, and we were at the mall, waiting for the valet to bring our car around. (Yes, in Los Angeles, they have valet parking at the mall. I know.) The valet area was packed with people, and my daughter started singing, and all of the strangers looked at her and smiled, because there is, of course, not much that’s cuter than a singing toddler. But then she asked me to sing with her. more

Sandra Day O'Connor Is No Feminist.

Last week, in an interview in the New York Times Magazine, Sandra Day O’Connor refused to be a labeled a feminist. Which, I have to tell you, I thought was kind of weird, considering that she was, um, the first woman to sit on the Supreme Court. Plus, she said that she cares “very much about women and their progress.” Which to me, ya’ know, sounds kind of like feminism. more

Barbie Does Campy.

Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the last few weeks, you probably know that the Barbie doll turned fifty this month. Now, if you read this column with any regularity, you may recall that I am not exactly a Barbie lover, and as such, I normally wouldn’t take time out of my life to mark this momentous occasion. more

Daddypalooza Love Fest.

As far as my kids are concerned, it’s all about me. If we go to the movies, they fight over who gets to sit in my lap. If we go out to dinner, they fight over who gets to sit next to me. At night, after they take a bath, they fight over which of them I am going to put to bed. more

Penis Germs.

I had thought that my penis problem was over, but, like a bad sequel to an average movie, it’s baaaack. For a while, my son’s penis obsession had been replaced with a nipple fixation. more

Charity Work is Not Work.

I am, it seems, a glutton for charitable punishment. Last year and the year before, I co-chaired a carnival for my son’s preschool. It was the school’s largest fundraiser of the year – with games and rides and food and a concert, plus sponsors and advertising, and organizing dozens of parent volunteers. more

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