Risa Green
Tales from the Mommy Track is a weekly column about the daily life of a part-time working mom. Risa Green is a critically acclaimed author who lives in Los Angeles. Her previous adult novels, Notes from the Underbelly and Tales from the Crib were made into a television series. Her latest novel, The Secret Society of the Pink Crystal Ball, is a Young Adult book that will be released in September, 2010.

I'm Tonally Challenged: Here's My Dilemma

Anyone who knows me will tell you that I do not have a soft, sweet tone to my voice. I know people with voices like this - people who still sound chipper and happy even when they’re seething mad - and I used to make fun of them, or goad them into saying curse words, because it always sounds funny to hear a high-pitched, upbeat voice let loose with a string of expletives. But then I had children, and now I’m just jealous. more

Zero Balance.

One of my best friends just went back to work a few months ago. Well, technically, she went to work, because aside from a few starter jobs right out of college, she’s been not working since she got engaged to her husband thirteen years ago. more

Family Friction.

Quote me on this: videogames are the source of all family friction. I am a hard ass when it comes to videogames. I never gave in to the DS, no matter how much my children begged and cried, nor how many times it showed up on Hanukkah and birthday lists. more

Five's a Crowd.

I’ve been “cleaning out” our playroom for the last four years. Every six months or so, I get sick of the mess, I grab a fistful of trash bags, and I start tossing stuff. more

The Non-Believer.

My daughter lost her ninth tooth a few days ago – one of those side teeth that kids lose once they’re a little bit older. Teeth one through eight occurred between the ages of five and seven, and they were pretty simple. more

Tech Pathetic.

For a while, I was feeling really on top of things, technologically speaking. When email first came out, back when I was in law school, I got on it right away. I was surfing the internet when people were still calling it the world wide web. more

The Holy Grail.

I have finally reached the holy grail of motherhood: both of my kids are in school all day, in the same place. No more dropping one at eight am and one at nine am, no more twelve o’clock preschool pickups and three o’clock grade school pickups. more

Wiping is a Bore.

I don’t generally pride myself on my parenting. I try to do the best I can, and sometimes I achieve that goal and sometimes I don’t. For the most part, however, I think I pass the basic minimum requirements of good parenting: more

I Love You, And I Hope You Become Diabetic.

It’s Valentine’s Day. My children just got home from school, and I’m trying to figure out when “I love you” became synonymous with “I hope you die of a sugar overdose.” I don’t know about you, but when I was a kid, Valentine’s Day meant giving cheap little cards with pictures of Snoopy or Miss Piggy or the Incredible Hulk to everyone in the class (and that means everyone, including the boy who used to lick his locker and the girl who insisted on talking like a horse), so that nobody’s feelings got hurt. more

Who Needs Waterboarding?

Over the summer, I wrote about how my son was diagnosed with Amblyopia, commonly known as “lazy eye,” and how the treatment for it involves wearing a hideous patch over one lens of his glasses while playing a special “video game” designed to strengthen his other eye. more

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