Saving the World One Teen at a Time - Column on Parenting Tweens and Teens

In Teens We Trust.

by Kristy Campbell


“Mom…I’m ok but I was just in a car accident.” Words to stop any parent’s heart. Mine froze as my daughter burst into panicked tears. She choked out that she was driving and someone in the middle turn lane decided to pull out into traffic to try and make the light and plowed into the side of her car…and then took off.


“Honey, call 911. I’m on my way.”


As soon I hung up, I remembered that the baby was sleeping and my husband was out with the car with the car seat. I called his cell phone and re-routed him to the accident. As I waited at home, I could feel myself wanting to faint, wanting to throw up, and getting angry. What kind of a dumb ass hits a teenage girl and then takes off?


When my daughter walked in the door, I started to cry. It’s always that moment when the weight of what terrible, horrible tragedy could have happened but didn’t that floods me and I fall apart. I hugged her and inhaled the scent of her hair conditioner, not wanting to think about what life would be like without her. And then the story came out. My take-away was that it was another teenage driver who hit her. She saw him mouth a couple of swear words and then watched him take off, leaving her in standing in the rain. Oh, great, so the dumb ass is a teen.


I looked at my 9-year old tweenage twins. “Get your coats on. I want to show you something.” I marched them out to the car and began my lecture in responsibility.


“Do you see your sister’s car?” They could tell by my tone that I was serious.


“Yes, mom.”


“Well some irresponsible, afraid-of-the-consequences, cowardly teenager hit her. He drove into her car and then drove away. It’s called a hit-and-run and do you know what?”


“What, mommy?”


“If he is caught, his license will be taken away and he’ll go to jail.”


I could see them looking at me through their raincoat hoods. It was pouring rain so I decided to continue the conversation inside. I sensed they knew what discussion was coming.


All of my kids know my short list of unequivocal rules for life and they know what rule is at the top of my list: ALWAYS TELL THE TRUTH. I have drilled this rule into their heads since the moment I first put them to breast. They are clear that no matter what uncomfortable situation they get themselves into, no matter what mistake they make, no matter what misunderstanding may happen…always tell the truth about it. Especially to me. They know I will probably get mad but not half as mad as if I find out later that they’ve lied to me.


“Why do you think the boy took off?” I asked them as they dried off.


“Because he was afraid he’d get into trouble,” they confidently answered.


Of course, every parents would bother and worry a lot if anything happen to their kids.. You are lucky enough that she get through to this.

ipad case


Very relieved to hear your daughter is OK.