F#^*K Facebook: I Have Enough Friends.

Around a year or so ago, an old friend of mine from high school, whom I hear from hardly ever, sent me an email requesting that I join Facebook. Facebook? I thought, with disdain. Seriously? Isn’t that for like, college kids? I deleted it. Then, a few months ago, a friend of mine who lives here in LA mentioned that she’d just joined Facebook and was having a blast with it. Seriously? I said to her. Facebook? Isn’t that for college kids? She assured me that I would be amazed at how many people our age are on there. Okay, I said, but still. Isn’t it really meant for college kids? I mean, isn’t going on Facebook at our age kind of like going shopping at Forever 21? And do I really want to have to make virtual small talk with every person I’ve ever known in my entire life? She tried to convince me that it wasn’t like that, but I held firm. By mid-summer, however, the pressure was mounting. Suddenly, wherever I went, everyone I knew was talking about Facebook, and I was starting to feel like I was only one who wasn’t in on all of the fun. Okay, okay, I thought. I’ll do it.


I joined during the last few weeks of August – that blissful time of the year between camp and school, when you’re just hanging out with your kids and have nowhere to go and nowhere to be – and almost immediately, I became obsessed. Oh, my God! There’s that cute guy who moved to Ohio in 8th grade! Oh, my God! There’s the girl I used to play with every weekend at the shore! Oh, my God! There’s a group of every person I went to camp with in 1985! I was manic in my Friending, and I often stayed up until one or two in the morning, searching for names I hadn’t thought of in twenty, sometimes thirty years. I posted status updates once, sometimes twice a day – Risa Green is so ready for school to start! Risa Green just cleaned out her car and found three years worth of Cheerios and Goldfish between the seats! Risa Green thinks roasted marshmallows on a chocolate chip cookie are better than roasted marshmallows on a graham cracker! – and all day long, my Blackberry buzzed like a little bee with email notifications of Friend requests and inbox messages.


And then September rolled around, and my life slammed into me like a truck going ninety miles per hour. Now, there was carpool to drive and lunches to make and after school activities to go to. There was homework to supervise and – oh, yeah – a book to finish writing, and dinners to cook and doctors appointments to make, and suddenly, the Friend requests and the in-box messages and the status notifications were all starting to feel like just another chore. You see, I emailed my (real) friend who first dragged me into all of this. It is for college kids. They’re the only ones who have the kind of time for this kind of time suck.



I like FB at first but after awhile all people seem to do there is troll for people's info. I haven't been on there since summer. I have been trying to find another site that fits to more who I am, which is to connect people based on share interests. There are a few but the one I like so far is www.koowie.com. I just found out that they just launched about a month ago.


funny thing: there's even an anti-facebook dating site. no kiddin'. see recent post in BLABLABLOG:



Recently, there has been a growing interest in the "Anti-Facebook Movement". The best known example is diaspora.com, the Anti-Facebook social net. Now we hear on another site, no-fad.com, an Anti-Facebook dating site for people who ban Facebook or just doesn't like it. The site is full of slogans like: "Hate Facebook - with passion", "Looking for relationship, not relationship status", "Love people - hate Facebook", etc. The site is free for anyone except Mark Zuckerberg, who should pay 500,000,000$ for joining. "One dollar for every soul he corrupted", says the site's owner, John Purian. I interviewed him last Sunday.
-Who needs an Anti-Facebook dating site? What is wrong with dating sites like PlentyOfFish.com?
-There are fish who like to swim against the stream. Facebook is the cancer of the 21th century. It's spreading everywhere and pollutes our human environment, damaging the most important thing in our life: our social, romantic, and family connections. It promotes values like voyeurism, hypocrisy and boisterousness. It's the most serious treat on our freedom - not Al-Qaeda.
-OK, I got it. You hate Facebook.
-There are many people who don't want to be part of this game. And now they have an alternative. They can find people like themselves, who believe in real friends and real relationships, and actually know their friends.
-Wow, actually know their friends?
-You're laughing, but the weird thing is that this concept became subversive.
-Isn't it really a site for social outcasts?
-These you can find everywhere in Facebook. Many of our users are "people persons", who just can't stand the shallowness and artificiality of the Facebook society. Until today they were facing a cruel choice: join or vanish. We address the silent majority, people who spend their time with their real friends and family, who believe in person to person communication, and their private life is private.
-By the way, do you have a Facebook profile?
-No, but my dog has.

Later I talked with Sharon, one of the site's users. "I wanted a relationship like in the old times, before it became a show for two players in front of their friends", Sharon says. "Now I know that I'm not alone, and there are many people like me. Thanks to no-fad.com they are not alone, too".


Facebook and other social networking sites are highly illegal, and they endanger many individuals around the globe who have little knowledge of it. Social networking sites spam millions of people daily in the form of invitations which are effectively harassment. Just because you have distributed your email to an individual in the past does not mean that you lose your right to privacy. Some sites like Quechup import address books and spam individuals unknowingly to the registrants. Social networking sites cannot assume that individuals who have not visited their site want to join.



I think it is all about a balance between "facebook" and "face to face" time...that's why I just launched a website www.open2conversation.com (it's about the concept of talking, not spending more time on the computer).
I would love some feed back on my idea!




Dang! I had to post! I googled how to stop looking at Facebook- you could not have said it better about merging who I am now and who I was in high school! I hate it actually- its like I have to prove something- popularity contest! whatever! I'm canceling- yes it can be good but their seem to be just too many and mostly not grown up people who are 31 who still want to be in high school- so ok- but I don't want that for myself and I find myself thinking about it waaaay to much - and my husband is totally repulsed by my newfound addiction.


I enjoy Facebook; but like everything in life it must be enjoyed in moderation.

It is how I found your site . . . hmmmm?


Right 0n! Thanks for validating. I just cancelled my Facebook. I did it for an old friend whom I haven't seen in years. I think it was more of a popularity contest for her.A day or two after I posted my profile and pictures I felt like some of my closest friends didn't know as much about me as my "Facebook friends".
Besides I am not in highschool anymore.Time to move on. I will admit if you did have friends and family out of state Facebook could be ideal .But for me it was just too much personal info. out there.


I've found them all very useful networking sites, while also giving into a little fun. The apps on facebook are definitely annoying, the twitter 'twitter' is too much and the linkedin discussion boards too irrelevant. It's easy to keep tabs on all your sites when your work life is slow, but when our innevitable crazy-mom times, it's good to just lay low. Your network will still be there when you need 'em.