Bachelor Backlash.

Hello ladies! Welcome to my most dramatic column ever! I’m so glad you decided to go on this journey with me. God, I could just kill myself every time Chris Harrison or anyone on The Bachelor says the word journey. My husband and I actually play a drinking game where every time anyone says: journey, amazing, intimate moment, spontaneous, adventurous, fairytale, rose or alone time you have to take a drink. Needless to say, we’re usually tanked by the first ad break. The problem is, The Bachelor is one of those shows that I have to watch season after season despite my best efforts to stay away. I will watch almost junk food pseudo reality offered up. My TiVo is an embarrassment of trashy riches: American Idol, The Janice Dickenson Modeling Agency, The Rock of Love Bus, Charm School, oh yeah, it’s all there. As a former television writer, you’d think I’d know better. I’ve been behind the scenes. I know how much of it is scripted or manipulated in editing but I still get a charge out of watching people act like complete freaks. That much you can’t fake.

 

Through season upon season The Bachelor has shown fame hungry sorority chicks, some of whom barely have a strangle-hold on sanity, vie for the privilege of marrying some dude who’s good on paper. Yet every year the “winning” gal ends up broken up with and alone with barely their fifteen minutes under their belt. This is season 13 and there has yet to be a Bachelor marriage. Only The Bachelorette has produced an actual couple –although don’t get me started on Trista and her baby-voice. But really, this is fine. These people shouldn’t be getting married after knowing each other six weeks and having limited alone time (uh oh, I said “alone time!” I have to take a drink). This all brings me to my point (and I do have one); up until now The Batch has just been innocent voyeuristic fun but suddenly it doesn’t seem as light to me now that the bachelor in question, Jason Mesnick, has a three-year-old son. It’s one thing to leave your home for six weeks and take up with a feckless blonde with fake boobies who claims to be an “administrative assistant” or “personal trainer” when you have no one to be responsible for but yourself, it’s another thing to inflict a six week absence and a possible flighty new mom on your preschooler. And this guy has done it not once but TWICE in the space of a year! Yeah, first he got down on one knee completely ready to hitch his and his son’s wagon to Deanna Pappas but, unfortunately for him, she wanted the jobless snowboarding dork instead. Now he’s back.

 

It turns my stomach when I think about it too much and isn’t the point of reality TV that we don’t have to think? I watch The Bachelor for a vacation from the real reality of my three children, the sinking economy, the sad state of my kitchen due to my lax housekeeping duties, and the furry vegetables in my crisper. Bring me a childless man whore!

 

oloughll
02.12.09

Think about adding "surreal" to your game. I can think of a few things that might be considered a surreal experience, but dating The Bachelor isn't one of them.

hkvaske
01.30.09

Anyone else notice these women constantly push that their only goals in life are to get married and have babies? Do you think they say this because this is what they think Jason wants to hear? Not that these are bad aspirations to have, but what about careers or charity work or something? Every time they say it, I wanna say "well, duh - why else would you be on the show?!"

Why am I so addicted to such crap? ; )

roseherring
01.29.09

Please add "connection" to the drinking game. And does he not find it creepy that a 20-something year old stranger would be crying and writing lullabyes for his child?

nabbie
01.28.09

Here's one no one thinks about....His Ex, you know...his baby's mama!!! Where the hell does she stand in this mess? I'm sure she won't be cheering on some wanna be mom who has never had any experience with a kid older than high school.(Get my drift?) From expereince... I know that ex's area thorn in the side. The man is pain in the ass enough, yet to take on a kid and his ex too...These chicks got alot of balls! Can't anyone see the thorn in his ass? Can you tell I have a hubby with a pain in the ass ex and two children along with a ton of baggage? Maybe I should try the drinking game...why wait until next weeks episode? Go for it dumbasses. Especially the one who looks like a skeleton rolled in wax with a bad facelift. I think she has a little girl to add to pot! Yahoo, but at least her hubby won't be a problemo...he died. Watch on and remind me to get a life!!!

Writermom
01.28.09

Neuromom, did you catch that the breast feeding chick referred to breast feeding a fetus? That would be pretty disgusting. Might want to wait til the baby is born before you put it on your boob.

chrisiew
01.28.09

Thanks for this--was thinking the same thing last night while I was glued. What drives me crazy are all these 24-year olds who suddenly remember that they "want to be a mom so badly." Everytime one of them utters that poor kid's name, I cringe.

teacupteachermom
01.28.09

I totally agree with you. Yeah it can be fun to watch the silly drama that these shows are. But at least these are adults who have at least some idea of what they are getting into. To subject an innocent, unsuspecting child to all of the emotional drama... I think it is irresponsible parenting.

neuromum
01.28.09

I'm addicted to that show, too! And even though it is terrible, I can't stop watching it. The mom of the 10 m.o. was indeed a bit much- did you notice she was a breastfeeding advocate? Kind of interesting. Anyway, I agree that perhaps it should be limited to people without children...

ginnylou
01.28.09

This was hysterical! My husband and I both find ourselves attached to the TV when The Bachelor comes on, only to wonder why during the commercials. We HAVE to try the drinking game, guess we'll have to DVR it for the weekend. I just get so disgusted with all these women who are, sometimes quite literally, falling all over each to beg some guy to keep them around. Where is their dignity??? And, I try not to even think about all the kids that are affected by their parents' lack of sense. But, still...I seem to watch anyway...and read Chris Harrison's blog...and watch some more...Someone stop me!!!

AussieInNYC
01.28.09

I can't get my head around WHY women would go on these shows? I caught a glimpse of the Rock of Love Bus in the gym... and was doubled over in laughter. They know of course, that this guy will push for the series 4! Not to mention they are fighting for the attention of a dude that wears eye liner. Say no more! The Bachelor is equally as amusing. How indeed do you meet the man of your dreams and fall deeply in love in that kind of environment....

Go figure.

www.minihipster.com