Are You There God? It's Me Risa.
I know, I know, it’s been a while. I think the last time we talked, I was looking for some help getting my period, like that Margaret girl (and btw, thanks for nothing). Anyway, in case you don’t remember me, I’m the one who doesn’t really like people all that much. I mean, not all people, of course – I like my friends, and some of my family – I just don’t like the really annoying people with whom You seemed to populate most of the world (and dude, what is up with that??). I think You know who I’m talking about. That one supermarket checker who always tries to chat me up about my cheese selection. Strangers in elevators who feel compelled to talk during a thirty second ride. People in restaurants who sit next to me and eavesdrop, and then try to join in on my conversation. I mean, I’m just not interested, you know? But about that, I do want to say thank you for a few things. 1) Thanks for making my husband. There are very few people I could live with, let alone live with every single day for the rest of my life, and so it was cool of You to make someone who is almost as misanthropic as I am. Do you know what he said the other day? I was feeling kind of loner-like, even for me, and so I suggested that we should maybe make plans with this couple who we kind of know but haven’t ever really gone out with. Totally out of character, I know. But he said, honey, I already have enough friends. I don’t need anymore. And do you really feel like having another person that you’ll have to talk to on the phone? And I was like, you are so right. I don’t know what I was thinking. And so anyway, thanks for that. 2) Thanks for the whole writer gig. I mean, no annoying co-workers, no office politics, no sucking up to a boss. I just get to sit in a room, by myself, for six hours a day, and get paid for it. How great is that?? A brilliant move. I really, really, appreciate it.