Wendy,

I just ordered your book and look forward to hearing more of your story. Thank you!

Dede

Thank you for the article! I am glad to hear that I am not alone with regard to medicating my son. I am the step mother of a middle schooler who has ADHD. He came into my life at age 4 and I knew he had some issues going in, but as the good mother, I did all of my research and "went with my gut" with what the doctors told me with regard to ADD/ADHD. I do not look to medicine to fix all problems - I take the natural approach if I can. My decision to medicate him came through a series of his impulsive actions that could have caused him serious harm. Our entire family works better together because of the medication in school, with others and at the house. Medication is not just a quick fix "to keep my son still" it enables him to function in life and keep him safe.

Wendy, we all need to realize that we will never "get it right", we will just do the very best we can and continuously reassess the situation. Please remember that the decision to medicate is not irrevocable. My first son, severely affected by ADHD, began medication at the early age of 5, and after one and a half years of side effects, elected to stop for a while. He did well with understanding teachers and a therapist who helped him with some coping skills; but by 4th grade it became clear that these were no longer enough and he again resumed medication. He is now an extremely successful 8th grader, happy with himself and his accomplishments, and tolerating the medication well. Our third son is now just beginning the medication roller coaster, at the age of 6. Will he have as successful an outcome as his brother? Only time will tell. But we will continue to try our very best to determine whats best, at each point in time, for him, and that's all that we can do.

Thank-you, thank-you, thank-you!
You have just expressed every though that has crossed my mind over and over again over the past couple of years; and you did it wonderfully!
My son started seeing a pediatrician at a very young age for the same reasons; we recognized them very quickly as ADD can be genetic and runs in our family.
The past couple of years we have tried everying organic, both the pediatrician, the school, and my husband and I felt that there was no need for medications at this point.
Now my son is in grade one, and after meeting with a psychologist, the pediatrician, the school, and specialists with the school board, we have decided that the possibilty of trying a low-dose perscription is around the corner.
Do I feel guilty? Ashamed? Embarassed? NO!
I felt that way for years while struggling with my own ADD diagnoses as well as my younger brothers. People do not realize how their uneducated responses to something they know only about through the media can wreck havoc on a family dealing with this.
Most of the info in the media focuses on the negative outcome of ADD children and medication. Where are the positive stories? If you were to read deeper into the negative stories in the media, you would most likely find the the paretns did little research on ADD, that they did not have the child properly diagnosed, or that the doctor and/or parents were not regularly checking the childs progression and dosage of medication!
Again, thank-you for your insight, it is greatly appreciated!
Andrea

I applaud you for being honest and open about the adhd medication issue. I, too, had to make that decision and tried just about everything first (behavior mods, diet, fish oil, no gluten...) before finally giving in a couple of years ago. Every child is different, which is why it's so important to consult "professionals," but even more important is that we be our children's advocate. The decision ultimately rests with us (sorry, Dads, it's true), the moms. A little education and a lot of intuition go a long way. Like you, I feel defensive about my decision (I never wanted to be one of those moms that drugged their kids) and often feel driven to over-explain it. In the end, what really matters is my son's happiness and well being. Is he happy? Is he doing well in school? Does he look forward to the day? Is he healthy? Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. But we work with his teachers and doctor to make sure that he receives proper dosages and monitoring. I am ever vigilant. It just has to be that way.

Thanks, again, for your great editorial. :-)

Actually, when your child has lice you don't call in a nitpicker...you delice your home and have a sweet time picking nits and cuddling. And when your child has asthma you change surroundings and activities to avoid having to use the inhaler. And when your child is hyperactive you exhaust every avenue of activities that will allow your child to succeed without medication. Boys need to run and play outside all day. And if living in the city doesn't allow for that, find another spot that will. I have girls (and hence am an unwilling lice expert) but have a medicated nephew. He's much better when he exhausts himself running around playing all day. My husband, a former spazzy child, played/plays and worked/works hard for the same reason. Educational systems need to accomodate that, as do families.

Medicating our children is not the easiest thing to do. They are supposed to be perfect and healthy. Unfortunately things don't go always as planned. In my quest for knowledge regarding ADD, every individual I spoke to with the letters M.D. after their name said to me that ADD/ADHD is a neuropsychological disorder. An honest to goodness physical malfunction of the brainwaves in your brain. The neurons are not firing how they should. A brain mapping of my daughters brain showed us that this is very true. Her brain activity was much lower in parts where kids had ADD versus in those same areas of normal brains. So to me this is a very physical problem such as asthma or diabetes and should be treated as such. Wendy--thanks for coming out, supporting some parents, and trying to help educate the others. We just like everyone else with children, just want what is best for them.

Wendy- bravo for you!! YOU are the person who knows your son the best...kudos to you for coping with a difficult situation and being honest with your feelings!!

Thank you, Wendy, for discussing this timely topic. You did exactly what you felt was the right thing to do. You hired skilled advisors and took their advice. That is the BEST you can do.

Of course, you will keep looking for more information so that you can provide for your son's changing and specialized needs. That is what we moms do. :)

As for the medication naysayers... They, too, can decide for their OWN children, not yours.

Please understand that medication (if you choose that route) and therapy (if you can find or afford it) is only PART of the recommended treatment solution. The rest is how you provide for your child's needs the remaining 6 days, 23 hours, and 10 minutes a week that your child is NOT in therapy.

Those needs include his requirements for structure, reward, consistency, and assistance in school. That's what I call specialized parenting. That's what I teach parents how to do. It includes teaching your child social skills and disciplining him effectively when you need to.

I applaud you for being a responsible mother who's doing what it takes to help your child FEEL successful. That's respectable.

I invite you to take my quiz at http://www.respecteffectpublishing.com and get your free report Seven Simple Ways to Get Your Child to Listen. You can also get your free 3-part video: How to Stop Temper Tantrums.

You can also read tons of free articles at our blog at: http://www.adhdparentingsuccess.com

Please let me know if you need anything at all. I'm happy to help.

Sincerely yours in parenting success,
Debra Sale Wendler
Twitter: @adhdparenting