This article is about both SAHM and WM. I think we all need to step back and realize that we all face the same situation regardless of when we go back to work. While you are away raising your children, the workplace doesn't remain stagnant and every mother who walks back in the door is questioned. This is true whether your hiatus lasts as long as maternity leave or until kindergarten. Unfortunately, when you are gone more than three months, ideas and technologies change quickly and new grads enter the workplace as eagerly to prove themselves as we were ten years ago. It's not a simple matter of walking back into the office and resuming where you left off. One of the new lessons I learned after maternity leave is how to be a working mom and that is all about give and take in the workplace like jeanettebee said. When I returned after my 4 months off, it was obvious that I was being watched to see how serious I was about the workplace. Face it, there are lots of career-focused women who seem to be "on-track" that come back and take it easy and whether you like it or not, the entire workplace looks at you and tries to figure out if you're just happy sitting in the cube getting paid or if you are still driven with goals for advancement. It took me almost a year to "prove" I was still as serious as I was when I took my job two years before the baby. That took working late and going on business trips that involved dry ice and the shipping of pumped milk! On the other hand, I've been very clear that my home time is now my son's and that I want comp time for weekends lost due to work and travel and that certain days I cannot be available. I also changed my schedule slightly to fit my husband's later schedule and my son's pickup time. It took that amount of time before I felt that my boss was investing in me again as an employee and challenging me and allowing me to grow and expand responsibilities. Being a working mom or a working dad requires both you and your workplace to be flexible. If that's not possible on your end, you may not be ready to go back. If that's not possible on the employer's end or in your career field, than it may be time to find a more progressive working environment or a job that will work with and not against your life an all of its demanding priorities. Balancing everyone's needs from baby to boss is tough; but, if you really want or need something badly, you and the right situation will meet.

Oh my! Am I the bearer of bad news?? First of all Stevie, I have never given anybody at dirty look in my life and especially not for going home to be with their families!
Second of all I am just saying that things have changed alot and in my buisness, I am surrounded by very young kids, who just got out of college and have no problem whatsoever staying till the project is finished, even if that means 9 or 10 o'clock p.m. Much to my sadness, they are the ones that the managers see when its time for promotions, and raises. As a matter fact, does anyone know why its against labor laws to ask someone about their marital status, or whether they have children? Because we get discriminated against. Right from the beginning employers are anticipating, us calling out sick all the time, latenesses,early leaves,etc...unfair? Absolutely! I am just giving the other side of the story, I have encountered many women who will not bend, not even a little when it comes to work.
I was just saying what should be expected when you make the decision to go back.
I went on a job interview last summer and the interviewer asked how I feel about working late. I chose to explain my situation to her and clearly told her that this was not possible as my husband works at night and I have to take over at a decent time so that he can get some sleep, her response was that if I want to work there I should consider hiring a baby sitter for a couple of hours in the evenings because there was no way to guarantee that I would be out by 5 every night, she was very blunt in asking me whether i thought it would be fair for my "team" if everyone got to stay but me. This ladies is the attitude all over. We kinda have to adjust.

Leslie Morgan Steiner

I actually don't know of many women with a "work around my schedule" attitude -- whether they are working moms who've never taken a break or former SAHMs who've recently come back.

I do think it is perfectly fair for an employee who is getting paid for part-time work to leave at 3 pm or whenever they are supposed to - without recrimination or nasty looks or accusations that they are not serious about their careers. This is hardly a "work around my schedule" attitude.

And regarding former SAHMs, I've heard from employers that they often have a better attitude than men and women who've never taken time off. They are eager to prove themselves, and because they've accepted a nonlinear career, they don't care about who has the bigger office or who gets the most high profile speaking part at the sales meeting. Employers report they are very focused on working -- pure and simple.

Those "lots of flextime options that should work and be presented" bring a whole other can o' worms. I've eased back into to full time work after #2, and used some of those options--they are not without their challenges, usually from women like Jeann. Everything from sideways glances when I say at 3 p.m., "I'm going to the silly hat parade and will work tonight" to downright accusations that I'm not working at home when I say I am. (Nevermind I have been extremely productive and have managed to bring in more than 1/3 of our company's budget.) I tell myself that when the baby boomers retire, things will be different...

This is definitely a touchy subject. As a working mom who hasn't opted out, I guess one side of me believes there are sacrifices for whatever decision you make. As a working mom, those sacrifices come in the form of less time with my children. For a stay-at-home mom, those sacrifices can come in the form of reduced family income, a slowdown in career, less interaction with adults. By staying in the workforce, there is an advantage to being networked, building relations and keeping your skills polished and growing. But, I do believe the most qualified person should get the job - and that could be an on-ramping mom or someone who has stayed in the workforce.

On another note, in this age of technology and 24-7, I do think there are lots flextime options that should work and be presented - and would perhaps keep women in the workforce from the start. I hope progress continues to be made on that front for the sake of all working parents.

Jeann, This article wasn't about moms in jobs already... it was about moms struggling to be taken seriously when re-entering the workplace. Since you are so good at balancing your work and family, you should have no problem being promoted much more quickly and readily than any former SAHM. Bitter much?

I have been at my job for 12 years. When I had my son, I took maternity leave for 3 months and went back to working full time. It worked for me because my husband and I work opposite schedules and my mom lives close by and was the primary babysitter. I will admit that the first two weeks after maternity leave were hard. But I got back into in the grove and truly do not feel as if I am missing out on anything by having a full time job. I am off on the weekends and most holidays and I get 4 extra days in the summer, so really I love it. I never felt any prejudice against me because I have a child, I have time off and I use it for emergencies..i.e. head bumps, broken limbs, school recitals....However, I have encountered many mommies who have come back after a long hiatus and the sense of entitlement astounds me!
You cannot come back to work after all of those years and think that your team has to work around your schedule because you have children. I don't work past 5:30, but I have come to terms with the fact that sometimes I might have too. The point I am trying to make is just that if you are not ready to adjust your home schedule so that it kinda flexes around your work schedule, then maybe its not the right time to go back to work. I have witnessed MANY MANY arguments concerning moms bolting out of the office at quitting time, leaving their coworkers swamped with work that needed to go out that evening. Ladies, think about the commitment you are about to make, truth is, having a child does not automatically exempt you from being part of the team.