PTA Mom: The Working Stay at Home Mom.
by Christina Michael
Now officially a stay-at-home mom (a.k.a. lawyer who quit her job to be with her family) for a few years, some “professional” bug has infected me. It affects lots of us stay-at-home and working parents alike. It’s called volunteering, volunteering, and volunteering yet again, at your kids’ schools. Why are we parents so apt to volunteer for these jobs? If we were billing our time, we’d be making a pretty penny considering the hours spent on committee after committee for our kids. Why do we do it?
Well, I know that I, as a stay-at-home mom, have always had major guilt for not being in a “real” paying job. The time and effort spent on my education and on my career made me into an effective and efficient worker, professional colleague, the “rely on her to get the job done” type. Now that I had no 9-5 job for which I was getting paid, I needed to somehow relieve the guilt that I felt for not bringing in any household income (beyond lemonade stands with my kids). I also had some strange desire to use my brain in a constructive way. What better way to do that than volunteer at my younger son’s preschool and my older son’s elementary school over and over again? Hospitality Committee, bake sale chef, room parent, hot lunch program participant, PTA lawyer, team parent (oh, yes, this goes into the after school activities as well), fundraiser for the new school playground. The list is endless.
Sitting in the committee meetings and volunteer caucuses, I realized how many of us there were: ex-professional working women, well-educated, and now on “sabbatical” or working on a reduced schedule. These committees rocked – they ran more efficiently and effectively than some of the best and brightest companies and were brimming with some of the smartest, savviest (though exhausted and over-worked) women I knew. It feels good to be the “rely on her to get the job done” type again, but is it really worth it? Well, I guess it’s a good excuse to meet other great people, but it tends to take me back to my bad habits of over-scheduling and being a Type A insomniac (does Ambien truly become less effective the more I take it?). It’s bad because it lets me never stop moving, processing, running, multi-tasking, and forgetting to take a deep breath.
However, thank goodness there are plenty of those like us. It keeps our public (and private) schools running so well when education is in a state of decline in the
But, I must sign off now to go stuff some envelopes for the PTA, to start dinner, to pay the bills, to walk the dog, to fold the laundry, to return my dad’s phone call before it’s too late in
04.16.12
Doesn't have to be all or nothing. After 11 years as an attorney, I found it depressing that all that experience/education was not being used. Like you, I couldn't stop volunteering, but it wasn't the same. If you are in Chicago or DC there are SAHMs who banded together to find practical pro bono work (e.g., we backup for one another in case of sick kid and no work after 2:00pm or summer. It's like a law firm of SAHMs doing good. And, it gives me more energy for working on the school auction & baking brownies--things I also think are important. Just wanted to put out there that I think that society still needs all that education/experience & if you miss it at all, there are ways to work it in.
09.01.10
AS a coach whose market is "professional moms" (high acheiving women currently in, or contemplating on-ramping back into, professional careers)my working and non-working clients often talk about PTA work. As a mom of 3 myself I also have really valued this work as a way to use my strengths and interests to make a positive impact for our kids. I hope those "working SAHMs" that the article talks about really value this work because it is the bridge from their former working identity to wherever they are going next, whenever that it. It is a great chance to keep leadership skills sharp. And I think the Mommy Wars would be a non-issue if all moms valued everyone's contribution. While i was home f/t with my kids i appreciated the working moms holding a spot out there for me. I was happy to put my time in with the PTA, especially for the working moms that couldn't manage it at that point. And now that i am working more, i so appreciate the SAHMs that are taking over the PTA programs I was running before. It's like we are all taking turns and passing the baton. And let's be real...are the husbands going to do this?
08.24.10
This is a timely time of year to comment on this older post - as my kids go back to school and I am signing all the paperwork, I get stressed when it comes to the volunteer sign up sheet - how can I manage to sign up for something when I'm not so sure about being able to get that day off work, when the kids will likely use up all or most of my leave balance with colds and viruses and medical checkups? These school volunteer commitments are so stressful to me. I LOVE being a guest reader, though - take half a day off work (well in advance), bring the best newest kids book to school to read and my son gets to come home early with me. Priceless. It's tough to make the cut on the volunteer schedule, though, because the good spots are usually filled with the moms like the author of this article - they are addicted to volunteering and have an in with the best assignments at the school. Now I guess I understand a bit more about why they do it. Once, I got called and asked to bring 10 loaves of heated bread for the teacher appreciation luncheon (I was not invited to attend the luncheon or anything, just asked bring to the school 10 loaves of freshly heated bread - in the middle of a workday). That was an interesting assignment and I learned from it to NEVER check the "as needed" volunteer box on the PTO form again. This year I'll plan to chaperone a field trip and hopefully attend a holiday classroom party. Plus I always send in the greatest themed paper goods! Good luck this school year to all moms - the uber-volunteers and also the ones like me who wish we could do more.
09.19.08
Hi. I rarely read about women like me whose husband doesn't make enough money to support a family so I have to work..and my present job pays too much for me to look for another job where i wouldn't be allowed to work from home.
09.14.07
I'm a new stay-at-home mom who just came off a full-time job for 10 years. I have 3 kids and have just start to volunteer. I have to say it does get addictive to volunteer because you do feel like you need to do something constructive other then wash, clean, cook, drive, etc. Although that is all constructive, it just doesn't feel like it. Plus I must use my brain and work or I feel like I'll fall apart.
09.11.07
Thank you --- from all of us working-mom's that can't fit one more thing in I TRULY appreciate the energy you put into the schools on behalf of all of us!