Grey's Anatomy Tackles Working Motherhood.

In one of the last “Grey’s Anatomy” episodes that aired before the writer’s strike, the character of Dr. Miranda Bailey had a personal crisis. Under fire from her Seattle Grace colleagues for being off her game since having a baby, Bailey had worked hard to prove to everyone that becoming a mom hadn’t changed her tough-as-nails approach to surgery and medicine. Despite her efforts, she was initially denied the position of chief resident after her boss explained that he was simply trying to spare her personal life from the same kind of havoc he’d experienced when he chose work over his wife, and she left him.

 

In this particular episode, Bailey’s husband Tucker -- who’d given up his job to be a full-time, at-home parent – demanded that she start paying attention to her own family and that she meet with him for lunch to discuss their relationship. However Bailey blew off the lunch in order to do an operation. “I’m tired,” Tucker told Bailey’s intern George O’Malley, “I’m tired of her choosing everything over me and our marriage.”

 

When O’Malley relayed Tucker’s frustration to Bailey who was in the OR, an indignant Bailey fumed: “I want to be there with him, right now, but if I were to leave, this man would die. Did you tell him that? . . . I took a vow to save lives and he might want to remember that he took a vow, for better or for worse. You tell him that as a husband, it’s his job to understand that I’m standing by my vow, for better or for worse. You tell him that I’m holding him to his vow.”

 

To Tucker, this line of argument, relayed through an intern nonetheless, was a non-starter: “She’s always saving a person’s life. She’ll always be here [with me] ‘soon.’ You go ask her when exactly is ‘soon’ gonna come?”

 

In a subsequent episode, after Bailey finally secured the chief resident post, their toddler son had a life threatening accident, for which Bailey blamed Tucker, who turned right around and blamed her. Though their son survived, Tucker’s patience ran out and he left Bailey, just as the chief of surgery’s wife had left him.

 

Flash-forward to the most recent episode of “Grey’s:” The toddler is now spending half of his time at home with his dad and half of his time in the Seattle Grace Hospital daycare center, where he has been acting out. In fact, the toddler was booted from daycare for punching another kid during a dispute over a graham cracker, something for which – surprise, surprise -- Tucker blamed Bailey, in a classic case of the you-don’t-know-what-it’s-like-to-be-me syndrome.

 

Tucker told Bailey that their boy had hit other children previously, to which she replied by saying that Tucker wasn’t handling the child-rearing responsibly.

 

“Of course he’s punching people,” Tucker angrily responded, “he used to be with me all day. Now he’s in daycare so he can spend 10 minutes with you every three hours.”

 

mtvschultz
05.21.08

Working full-time, with a 22 month old and one on the way. It is all part of life, working on the family work balance. Some days are better than others for everyone. Learning to say you are sorry and understanding the others feelings/communicating are part of a healthy relationship. You all do the best you can, sometimes it won't be enough. For better or worse! Constantly Juggling

stevenbrycesmomm
05.20.08

Personally I think this had more to do with their stuggle of their marriage than her job. I also think the child acting out has to do with all of the changes he is experiencing not just being placed in daycare.

Melizzard
05.18.08

I'm a working mom but also the wife of a physician so this fight particularly hit home for us and it's the fight the spouses of docter's probably have most often.

Why is it that when he is supposed to pick up the kids, but his day runs late, I have to bail on work and go get them. But if it's my turn and I'm running late... he can't leave work and step in to help me?

Happens all the time. There is no answer.