What if There Were No Men?
“Ooooo,” I said when I saw the recent New York Times Op-Ed piece, provocatively titled, “Men, Who Needs Them?”.
The author - a man - argued the following (although I have rearranged the order of his points):
“Mankind is a misnomer. If all the men on earth died tonight, the species could continue on frozen sperm. Women aren’t just becoming men’s equals…an uninterrupted, intimate and essential maternal connection defines our species.”
He cites the growth of assisted reproductive technologies, which allow women to reproduce without men. It turns out that dads contribute only 3.3 picograms of DNA per baby, anyway, which translates to less than one pound of male contribution to the 107 billion babies born to the entire human species.
“Women live longer, are healthier and are far less likely to commit a violent offense…With human cloning technology just around the corner and enough frozen sperm in the world to already populate many generations, perhaps we should perform a cost-benefit analysis.”
Compelling scientific factoids, certainly. The question remains intriguing on many levels. Do women need men? Does the human species need men?
Do I need men? Do you?
I must confess, at times I long for a world free of men. Men have equaled heartbreak and frustration for significant stretches of my life. I remember my dad mostly for his absences. His career as a lawyer always came before family, and he divorced my mom after 32 years of marriage and five kids, and then even declined to honor mom’s life (or to be there for us kids) by skipping her funeral.
After Dad came a looong string of boyfriends whom I loved passionately until I absolutely couldn’t stand the arrogant, domineering, smelly sight of them for one more single solitary second. And the men at work? What exactly did they add? The ones who ridiculed me for taking maternity leave, spoke first in every meeting, hired less qualified men instead of brilliant hardworking women, and then fired my single mom friends when they missed work their kids were home alone sick.
At 47, I’m still in search of the perfect man: the perfect husband, the perfect boss, even the perfect president. In some ways, my quest stems from growing up in the shadow of early feminism in the 1970s. My Radcliffe-educated mom and Gloria Steinem and at least 100 hundred female teachers, coaches and mentors left me with the distinct impression that two ideals were my and my female peers’ birthright: equality at work and equality at home.
On the first count, the blasé assumption was that the workplace would welcome (with open arms of gratitude) smart, hardworking, competitive women. On the homefront, the equally presumptive plan was that if we picked the right husband - kind, liberal, raised by a feminist mother -- we would be supported and embraced for all our wonderful femininity and strength. Girlpower! Didn’t everyone agree that chicks ruled?