Birth Control Bigots
Now that my three kids reliably use a toilet and can brush their own teeth, it’s been a while since I’ve been so flustered and frustrated that I felt like pulling out my eyelashes.
But last week was a doozy. First came the wondrous news that U.S. health insurance companies were finally being required to cover prescription birth control, the most common drug prescribed for women. I felt like doing a jig on my kitchen counter.
Then came the backlash.
At first, the reactions were quasi-intellectual and quasi-credible. Stuff like The Washington Examiner’s Tim Carney alleging that the only reason Obama supports insured birth control is to reward drug companies and abortion providers who’ve contributed to his campaign. Twistedly cynical and derisive of the possibility that our president might actually be attempting something to benefit mankind, but okay, I see his point. I do not agree, but there is a teeny bit of logic here.
Then Sandy Rios, the Family PAC Federal Vice President, apparently detached his brain from the orbit of the universe:
"We’re $14 trillion in debt and now we’re going to cover birth control, breast pumps, counseling for abuse? Are we going to do pedicures and manicures as well?”
Rios also suggested that young women are better off having babies:
"Having a baby is not the worst thing. I think having multiple sex partners without any kind of restraint or responsibility is much more damning."
(Note to Rep. Rios: I’ve had babies, and I’ve had multiple sex partners without restraint. I need to report back that babies are worse than multiple sex partners.)
Then we heard from GOP Rep. Steve King (R-Iowa) who suggested that providing free birth control would lead to the end of the entire human race, and that birth control medication is not, well, medication exactly.
“Preventing babies from being born is not medicine. That's not -- that's not constructive to our culture and our civilization. If we let our birth rate get down below replacement rate we're a dying civilization," King said on the House floor last Monday.
Oh vey! Where do we start with these men?
First off, I’d like both Mr. Rios and Mr. King to spend nine days (let’s not bother with the whole nine months) throwing up, swelling up, and watching their bodies expand by 25 to 65 pounds, and then pushing out an eight pound bowling ball through their belly button, without pain medication of course, since that would not be natural and would limit their full enjoyment of the experience.